Difference between revisions of "Clown"

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{{JobPageHeader
{{JobPageHeader
|colour = C66B2D
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|hcolour = white
|stafftype = SERVICE
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|jobtitle = Clown
|jobtitle = Clown
|access = Clown Office
|access = Clown Office
|difficulty = HONK (Easy-Hard)
|difficulty = Easy to just be an ass, Hard to be funny.
|superior = [[Head of Personnel]], The Honkmother
|superior = [[Head of Personnel]], The Honkmother
|duties = Honk. Play pranks. Entertain the crew. Become the Security's exclusive punching bag. Pester the roboticist for a HONK mech.
|duties = Honk. Play pranks. Entertain the crew. Become the Security's exclusive punching bag. Pester the roboticist for a HONK mech.
|guides = [[Standard Operating Procedure (Service)#Clown|Standard Operating Procedure]]  
|guides = [[Standard Operating Procedure (Service)#Clown|Standard Operating Procedure]]  
}}
}}<div style="float: right;">{{JobService}}</div>
{{JobService}}


The '''Clown''' is... Well... <strike>considered as</strike> the funny person in NSS Cyberiad! Their purpose is rather simple to think, but hard to do in reality, they usually make funny jokes or unique puns to lowly assistants at the bar, play pranks with a security officer during level green, look goofy and play dumb to be funny as a result, as the best of all... HONK until their shift ends and made the crew laugh. Remember, the Honkmother is watching you, and hoping to be the HONKmaster of the station!
The '''Clown''' is the funny person aboard the NSS Cyberiad! They usually tell funny jokes or unique puns to entertain the crew, either in person or over the radio. Another classic Clown tradition is pranking crewmembers, but if your prank is more annoying than funny, this is often paid in kind with repeated, non-consensual hits to the head with a stunbaton.


In short, their job is to goof off with people sometimes. You can be serious during troubles, but you can hope to entertain <strike> or inspire</strike> the crowd.
As a Clown, your behaviour revolves around the '''HONK''', a philosophy of life that all clowns in the galaxy endeavor to spread. Try to make the Honk Mother proud of you by making the crew laugh until the end of the shift. Being genuinely funny can be tricky. Try to come up with a way to actually entertain the crew and they will appreciate you for the effort.


== [[File:HonkHorn.png|60px]] License to HONK (Required Knowledge)==
Your responsibility is to have fun with people and make them enjoy their shift. You should be serious during troubles, but keep in mind that you can also try to be funny while being a benefit to the [[NSS Cyberiad|station]]. Slipping [[Nuclear Agent|nuclear agents]] during their assault can turn the tide of the battle by leaving them at the mercy of the crew for a few seconds. Even if you die in the process, your efforts will inspire future generations. Crewmembers will remember you and mourn the loss of a honking good clown.
Unless if you're an [[Game Modes|antagonist]], just because you're a clown, '''doesn't mean you can be a dick when pranking other people'''. Ruining someone's day as a non-antag violates Rule # 1 OOCly, so there's a chance you might get robusted, jobbanned or worst.


'''When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"'''
== License to HONK (Required Knowledge)==
'''''Being a Clown doesn't give you the right to be a dick when pranking other people.''''' Ruining someone's day as a non-antag violates [https://www.paradisestation.org/rules/ Rule # 7] OOCly, so there's a chance you might get jobbanned from being a Clown in future, or outright banned entirely.


'''If yes: don't do it. You'll probably get robusted, arrested and probably banned.'''
When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"


'''If no: you're probably fine.'''
'''If yes: don't do it.''' You'll probably get robusted, arrested and very likely banned.


== [[File:HonkHorn.png|60px]] Pranks ==
'''If no: you're probably fine''', but if you have an elaborate scheme in mind that might need additional approval - talk to the admins.
[[File:HonkHorn.png|400px|right]]
This is where the [[The_Griffin|bad clowns]] are separated from the real ones! Pranks can range from anything from harmless honks to the head to throwing random banana peels (usually people hate you for this most of all) all over the hallways, or even spamming prayers to the Honkmother for a H.O.N.K.-mech because [[Roboticist|those assholes]] don't have bananium so they could make you one.


If you are really out of ideas and on the verge of being so bored that you'll soon resort to just being a dick, here's a few things a good Clown can do to entertain the crew:
== Being a good Clown ==
* Tell bad jokes and puns nonstop
Being a good clown is hard. Actually telling good jokes and being genuinely funny is something people have trouble with in real life. It's going to be even harder in a computer game, but if you try hard, you can do it! The golden rules for clowns are "You can joke about anything, but it has to be funny." Which means, if you're joke is more bad than good, more annoying than funny, more enraging than hilarious, it's not a good joke. It should always be more funny than annoying, not the other way around. Here are some examples of what you should do if you want to be a good clown.
* Hold two horns (okay one can be duck) and rapidly switch hands while spamming the use key to dualhonk
* Ride wheeled chairs with fire extinguishers
* Wear cardboard suit and helmet and be a clownborg, beep boop honk
* Wear a pirate outfit and be a pirateclown, yarr scurvy (+ other outfits and roleplay)
* Bolt open the costume storage for the entire crew to use
* Build a Clown-Mart in the [[Vacant Office]]
* Insert donuts into people's pockets
* Attack Heads of Staff with the laser tag gun
* Create newsfeed channels and put out outrageous and slightly offensive accusations against people, along with photos
* Get/pretend to be a random new job, and be terrible/amazing at that job
* Write obscenities right outside the brig and get dog piled by security
* Hide photocopies of your ass around the station


=== [[File:HonkHorn.png|60px]] Power ===
* Be unique. Stand out from the rest of the pack by having a unique style, a specific subject of jokes or a specific goal for the shift. Have a good name that people will remember.
If the round goes on long enough, [[Roboticist|someone]] may be <strike>demented</strike> fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K. Mech. This mech even makes squeaky sounds when it moves <strike>instead of</strike> in addition to those awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to attach the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' to it, for '''EXTREME HONKING!''' Honk!
* Write your own jokes that are actually funny. It's hard to write jokes in general. Some joke topics on the station could be racial features, department prejudice, Nanotrasen work policy, etc. By making jokes related to what people do, it will be easier for them to smile.
* Deliver the joke in a professional manner. Writing a joke is one part. Now you got to tell it to people. Make sure they have time to listen and aren't busy doing something else.
* Do pranks that are actually funny. Make sure the prank is adapted to the target of the prank. Breaking into someone's office and taking a picture isn't a prank. Breaking into someone's office and filling it with the owner's least favorite food is a prank.
* Do scavenger hunts, competitions and hold games. Get people to partake in some sort of silly contest. Scavenger hunts means you hide a interesting or unique item somewhere on the station and give out clues from time to time. Competitions and games could be: "Clown toss" "Catch the clown" "Write the best joke" "Theme costume contest" are just a few to get your ideas going.
* Do a stand up show. So you got some jokes and you got some laughs. Take it to the next level. Prepare a funny script (actually funny). Get someone to build a stage or do it yourself. Announce your amazing stand-up show to make sure people attend. Perform.
* Improvise! See someone with an interesting name? Make a joke about it. Did something funny happen in front of you? Deliver a well worded zinger to make people laugh. This should be done in measure. If you can't come up with a GOOD line then don't say anything.
* Keep the bad jokes to yourself. You should be remembered for your good jokes, not be forgotten for your bad ones. If you can't think of a good joke, just be quiet. It's better to deliver one good joke than ten bad ones.
* Make a funny newsfeed. If you're actually funny and can deliver witty jokes in a writing style, the newscaster might be the place for your funnies. Make sure to announce it so people read it or print it out and hand the newspaper to people.


=== [[File:HonkHorn.png|60px]] Honk ===
== Equipment [[File:clownmask.png]] ==
Honking is how you get your work done. If you honk a honk honk then honk up the honk, well you'll have a doozy of a honk on your honk to wash off.
As a female clown, you join or start your shift wearing a [[File:sexyclown.png|32px]] sexy clown mask and a [[File:sexyclownsuit.png|32px]] sexy clown suit.


=== [[File:HonkHorn.png|60px]] Equipment ===
As a male clown, you join or start your shift wearing the classic [[File:clownmask.png|32px]] mask and [[File:clownsuit.png|32px]] suit.  
You get the clown suit with matching squeeky shoes, a bike horn, clown stamp (for approving monkey crates) clown mask (which works like a gas mask), a special infinite rainbow clown crayon so you can start writing naughty words all over the escape arm or eating it like a giant honking baby, a can of laughing juice, a megaphone to be extra obnoxious,  a banana, and your slippery [[PDA]]. Your PDA can infect people's PDAs with a virus that makes it randomly honk, and possibly do other things? Who knows, HONK!


=== [[File:HonkHorn.png|60px]] Job Difficulty ===
Both genders join or start the shift wearing the [[File:shoesclown.png|32px]] clown shoes.
Very little, but some people might want to kill you just for being the Clown. HONK!


==[[File:HonkHorn.png]][[File:HonkHorn.png]][[File:HonkHorn.png]] Tips==
Regardless of gender and whether you start in your office or you hop onto the station as a late joiner, you spawn with your trusty [[file:clownpack.png|32px]] Giggles Von Honkerton; a backpack <s>horrifically</s> designed to match your <s>awful, awful</s> wonderful fashion sense.  
* The clown's mask can be used for internals.
* If the clown's PDA cartridge has less than 5 charges (sendable viruses which make someone’s PDA honk every time they push a button) left, someone who isn't the clown can slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
* Eating the rainbow crayon completely is impossible. If you're a clown and starving you can just nibble on your crayon, for infinity.
* [http://aberrantkenosis.bandcamp.com/album/the-bike-horn-collection-volume-1 HONK!]
* Dye your clown shoes and slip them on someone, they still squeak.
* The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time. So you can fire ten very small shots, and it has impressive range. It can be loaded from the pepper spray wall units and actually shoots further than the spray bottles. Since it is one unit the stun does not last long, but it is good for a guaranteed disarm if they lack eye protection.
* If somebody is chasing you and you haven't emptied your flower of water yet, you can empty it on the floor for a slip that is less obvious than a peel is.


== [[File:HonkHorn.png]] Antagging ==
By default, Giggles contains:
Wanna be like Pennywise the Spacing Clown?


As a '''Traitor''' Clown, in addition to being funny on the light side, you're also (probably) a murderer and thief on the dark side too! So try to attempt to make people funny, while suddenly you pull out your E-Sword and make the target dead as good as you want it, then slip the police as they chase you and throw them out of the airlock as you see the officer screams, without you hearing it! Remember that the possibilities of being a Traitor Clown are quite endless. So go grab yourself a banana peel and HONK (read: do traitor stuff) as you wish!
* [[file:Box Oxygen.png|32px]] Your standard emergency supply box.
* [[file:banana.png|32px]] A banana. A good source of potassium, and weapon of mass destruction.
* [[file:stamp-clown.png|32px]] Your rubber stamp. Use it on paper or people to make your mark.
* [[file:crayonbox-full.png|32px]] A box of colored crayons.
* [[file:jollyjug.png|32px]] Your jolly jug! Holds 100 units of banana juice, which heals clowns!
* [[file:gildedhorn.png|32px]] A gilded bike horn. Works like any other instrument.
* [[file:Sunflower.png|32px]] A water flower.
* [[file:crayon-rainbow.png|32px]] A rainbow crayon! Smells like candy! Tastes like crayon!


Besides all of the above, the Syndicate also trained you to use weapons more properly, instead of shooting right directly at your foot. Plus, you also have a traitor-exclusive item: The [[Syndicate Items#Clown|Banana Grenade]], a super effective weapon against determined Security Officers (who are chasing you) and a lot of victims who are ready to be slipped!
== Unlimited Power [[File:HONK_MECH.png|64px]] ==
If the stars align, [[Roboticist|someone]] may be fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K. Mech. This behemoth even makes squeaky sounds when it moves, in addition to the awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to install the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' for '''EXTREME HONKING!'''
Just keep in mind that Security will very likely jump the gun and blast your fun to pieces with an ion rifle or EMP grenade if you abuse your gift too much.


{| class="wikitable"
== Tips [[File:HonkHorn.png|32px]] ==
! colspan="2" style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; background-color:#aaffaa;" | [[Roles|The Honk List]]
* The clown mask can be used for internals.
* If your PDA cartridge (sends a virus that makes your target's PDA honk) has less than 5 charges left, make somebody slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
* The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time at a surprising range (3 tiles). Make of that what you will.
* If you want to slip people at terminal velocity, Space Lube is your best friend. You can nag a Chemist or Scientist for some, but don't be surprised if you get beaten to death by the entire crew for your actions.
 
== Why So Serious? [[File:SyndicateBalloon.png]] ==
We all float down here, Georgie.
 
Given your status amongst the crew as a nuisance to be avoided or ignored entirely, you have one of the best covers for your [[Changeling|nefarious]] [[Traitor|deeds]]. Nobody will care where you are or what you're doing, so long as you keep out of reach of Security, meaning you can fulfill your objectives without needing to worry about responsibilities on the station. Many spacemen have been "harmlessly" slipped only to then be diced with an energy sword. Honk.
 
With that in mind, you also have one very special tool in your arsenal: the [[Syndicate Items#Clown|Banana Grenade]], a non-lethal but absolutely chaotic weapon of choice for any clown that wants to make a ''slick'' getaway. The [[Syndicate Items#Clown|Trick Revolver]] can be used to, well, trick people into shooting themselves - this works especially well combined with the actual revolver, but make sure not to confuse the two. Although that in itself would be funny.
 
Antag clowns can disable their clumsiness at will, allowing them to fight without risk of accidentally shooting or cuffing themselves.
 
<div style="box-shadow: 0 0 .3em #999; border-radius: .2em; margin: margin: 1em 0 1em 0; padding: 1px; margin-top: 2em;">
<div style="background: #D1D1D1; border-radius: .2em; color: {{{textcolour|#FFF}}}; padding: .4em .4em .4em; font-size: 1.2em; line-height:1.2em;"><center>'''[[Roles|The Honk List]]'''</center></div>
{|
|style = "width:15%;"|
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #b5e2ff;" | Skippers
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#127BB7; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Skippers</div>
| [[Captain|Comdom-in-Chief]] • [[Head of Personnel|Mr. All-Access]] • [[Head of Security|Head of No-Fun]] • [[Chief Engineer|Leader of Yellow Gloves]] • [[Research Director|Nerdo Supreme]] • [[Chief Medical Officer|Mr. Sawbones' Wild Ride]]
| [[Captain|Comdom-in-Chief]] • [[Head of Personnel|Mr. All-Access]] • [[Head of Security|Head of No-Fun]] • [[Chief Engineer|Leader of Yellow Gloves]] • [[Research Director|Nerdo Supreme]] • [[Chief Medical Officer|Mr. Sawbones' Wild Ride]] • [[Quartermaster|The Wrangler]]  
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #88b1ef;" | Audience VIPs
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#88B1EF; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Audience VIPs</div>
| [[Nanotrasen Representative|Paper Bin]] • [[Magistrate|<s>Cool</s> Dumb Wig]] • [[Blueshield Officer|Goose Chaser]]
| [[Nanotrasen Representative|Paper Bin]] • [[Blueshield Officer|Goose Chaser]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #ba5656;" | Fun Police
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#BA2CA2; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Illegal</div>
| [[Warden|Abuses-His-Gloves]] • [[Security Officer|Redtider Goon]] • [[Security Pod Pilot|DAAAAANGER ZONE]] • [[Detective|Needs a laugh]] • [[Internal Affairs|Complaint Box]] • [[Brig Physician|Prolongs torture]]
| [[Internal Affairs|Complaint Box]] • [[Magistrate|<s>Cool</s> Dumb Wig]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #ffc050;" | Yellow Glove Tribals
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#AD1818; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Fun Police</div>
| [[Station Engineer|Glove Dispenser]] • [[Mechanic|Space Pod to-go!]] • [[Atmospheric Technician|Insane Axe-wielder]]
| [[Warden|Abuses-His-Gloves]] • [[Security Officer|Redtider Goon]] • [[Detective|Needs a Laugh]]  
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #dda0d0;" | The Barnyard
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#FF9D00; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Yellow Glove Tribals</div>
| [[Medical Doctor|Quack]] • [[Paramedic|Taxi Man]] • [[Chemist|The Lube Source]] • [[Geneticist|GIB HALK PLZ?!]] • [[Virologist|Pierrot's Throat]] • [[Psychologist|LEAVE ME ALONE]] • [[Coroner|Funny guy]]
| [[Station Engineer|Glove Dispenser]] • [[Atmospheric Technician|Insane Axe-wielder]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #bba0dd;" | The Gaping Hole in the station
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#63A7CC; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">The Barnyard</div>
| [[Scientist|Nerd/Mauled/Bits on the floor/Closing shutters]] • [[Roboticist|TOBE YO GUNDAMU]]  
| [[Medical Doctor|Quack]] • [[Paramedic|Taxi Man]] • [[Chemist|The Lube Source]] • [[Geneticist|GIB HALK PLZ?!]] • [[Virologist|Pierrot's Throat]] • [[Psychologist|LEAVE ME ALONE]] • [[Coroner|Funny Guy]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #f6d000;" | Hats and Guns
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#B17FE0; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">The Gaping Hole in the station</div>
| [[Quartermaster|Pretends to be needed]] • [[Cargo Technician|Bribe to order hats]] • [[Shaft Miner|Bringers of Bananium]]
| [[Scientist|Nerd]] • [[Roboticist|TOBE YO GUNDAMU]]  
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #bf9726;" | Dysfunctional In-laws
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#A0743E; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Hats and Guns</div>
| [[Janitor|Enabler]] • [[Chef|Knife]] • [[Bartender|Gun]] • [[Botanist|Passes Peels]] • [[Barber|<s>The only person more useless than the Clown</s> Slip for a razor!]]
| [[Cargo Technician|Ministry of Funny Hats]] • [[Shaft Miner|Bringers of Bananium]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #aaaaaa;" | The Gang
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#30A055; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Dysfunctional In-laws</div>
| [[Civilian|Hobos]] • [[Clown|The best, and the only, honkmaster of pranks, the derogatory complainer himself, The Clown]] • [[Mime|The Greatest Enemy, or Greatest Friendemy]] • [[Chaplain|Honkmother Communer]] • [[Librarian|GET OUT!]]
| [[Janitor|Enabler]] • [[Chef|Knife]] • [[Bartender|Gun]] • [[Botanist|Passes Peels]] • '''Son of Honk Mother''' • [[Mime|The Greatest Enemy, or Best Frienemy]] • [[Chaplain|Honk Mother Communer]] • [[Librarian|GET OUT!]] • [[Explorer|Morgue Filler]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #5589c5;" | Enablers
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#777777; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">The Gang</div>
| [[AI|Doorknob]] • [[Cyborg|Needs Honk Module]] • [[Personal AI|Talk-Box]] • [[Guardian|Best Friend]] • [[Ghost|Salt Shakers from The Veil]] • [[Mouse|Cheese Fodder]]
| [[Civilian|Hobos]] • [[Ghost|Salt Shakers from Beyond The Veil]] • [[Derelict Researcher|Grandpa]] • [[Animal|<s>Cheese</s> Cannon Fodder]] • [[Golem|Stone Cold]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; background-color: #ba5656;" | The Critics
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#5589C5; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Enablers</div>
| [[Traitor|Slips]] • [[Changeling|DNA Gourmet]] • [[Nuclear Agent|Still slips]] • [[Xenomorph|Party Poppers]] • [[Wizard|Wiznerd]] • [[Cultist|Emos]] • [[Construct|Flying Bricks]] • [[Shadowling|Basement Dweller]] • [[Vampire|Dislikes Banana Juice]] • [[Vox Raider|12 stools for Nuke, yaya?]] • [[Cortical Borer|Free Overdose]] • [[Revenant|IPC Fireworks]] • [[Blob|The Meat Grinder]] • [[SIT|Explosive Pizza Express Deliverers]] • [[Terror Spider|Not funny]] • [[Abductors|Ayylmaos]] • [[Swarmer|Ate your statue]]
| [[AI|Doorknob]] • [[Cyborg|Needs Honk Module]] • [[Maintenance Drone|Roomba]] • [[Personal AI|Talk-Box]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: red; background-color: #000000;" | "Special"
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#000000; color:red; border-radius:.4em; height:3.5em;"><div style="transform: translate(.2em,.9em);>The Critics</div></div>
| [[Nanotrasen Navy Officer|Greater Comdoms]] • [[Emergency Response Team|The Untalented Troupe]] • [[Death squad|Pranked Squad Commando]] • [[Space Ninja|90-year old man in suit slipped by clown and beaten to death! LIVE!]] • [[Honk Squad|Brethren Goofs]] • [[Super Heroes|Cosplayers]] • [[Highlander / There Can Only Be One|Murderboned and boned]]
| [[Abductors|Ayylmaos]] • [[Ash Walker|UNGA!]] • [[Blob|The Meat Grinder]] • [[Changeling|DNA Gourmet]] • [[Construct|Flying Bricks]] • [[Contractor|Travel Agent]] • [[Cultist|Emos]] • [[Guardian|Best Friend]] • [[Lavaland Elite|Wannabe]] • [[Morph|Fatty]]  • [[Nuclear Agent|Nuke Inspectors]] • [[Revenant|IPC Fireworks]] • [[Revolution|VIVA]] • [[Shadow Demon|Basement Dweller]] • [[Slaughter Demon|RIP AND TEAR]] • [[SIT|Pizza Delivery]] • [[Syndicate Researcher|Monkey Torturer]] • [[Terror Spider|8-Legged Yikes]] • [[Traitor|Tater Tot]] • [[Vampire|BLAH BLAH BLAH!]] • [[Xenomorph|Party Poppers]] • [[Wizard|Wiznerd]]
|-
|<div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#454394; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">"Special"</div>
| [[Central Command Officer|Greater Comdoms]] • [[Death squad|Cleanup Crew]] • [[Emergency Response Team|The Untalented Troupe]] • [[Highlander|Skirt Wearer]] • [[Sol Traders|Fun Bringers]] • [[Space Ninja|Weeaboo]] • [[Honk Squad|Brethren Goofs]] • [[Super Heroes|Cosplayers]] • [[Cluwne|Lost but not forgotten]]
|}
|}
 
</div>
[[Category: Jobs]]
[[Category:Jobs]]

Revision as of 01:58, 16 March 2024

SERVICE

Generic clown.png
Clown

Superiors: Head of Personnel, The Honkmother
Difficulty: Easy to just be an ass, Hard to be funny.
Guides: Standard Operating Procedure
Access: Clown Office
Duties: Honk. Play pranks. Entertain the crew. Become the Security's exclusive punching bag. Pester the roboticist for a HONK mech.

The Clown is the funny person aboard the NSS Cyberiad! They usually tell funny jokes or unique puns to entertain the crew, either in person or over the radio. Another classic Clown tradition is pranking crewmembers, but if your prank is more annoying than funny, this is often paid in kind with repeated, non-consensual hits to the head with a stunbaton.

As a Clown, your behaviour revolves around the HONK, a philosophy of life that all clowns in the galaxy endeavor to spread. Try to make the Honk Mother proud of you by making the crew laugh until the end of the shift. Being genuinely funny can be tricky. Try to come up with a way to actually entertain the crew and they will appreciate you for the effort.

Your responsibility is to have fun with people and make them enjoy their shift. You should be serious during troubles, but keep in mind that you can also try to be funny while being a benefit to the station. Slipping nuclear agents during their assault can turn the tide of the battle by leaving them at the mercy of the crew for a few seconds. Even if you die in the process, your efforts will inspire future generations. Crewmembers will remember you and mourn the loss of a honking good clown.

License to HONK (Required Knowledge)

Being a Clown doesn't give you the right to be a dick when pranking other people. Ruining someone's day as a non-antag violates Rule # 7 OOCly, so there's a chance you might get jobbanned from being a Clown in future, or outright banned entirely.

When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"

If yes: don't do it. You'll probably get robusted, arrested and very likely banned.

If no: you're probably fine, but if you have an elaborate scheme in mind that might need additional approval - talk to the admins.

Being a good Clown

Being a good clown is hard. Actually telling good jokes and being genuinely funny is something people have trouble with in real life. It's going to be even harder in a computer game, but if you try hard, you can do it! The golden rules for clowns are "You can joke about anything, but it has to be funny." Which means, if you're joke is more bad than good, more annoying than funny, more enraging than hilarious, it's not a good joke. It should always be more funny than annoying, not the other way around. Here are some examples of what you should do if you want to be a good clown.

  • Be unique. Stand out from the rest of the pack by having a unique style, a specific subject of jokes or a specific goal for the shift. Have a good name that people will remember.
  • Write your own jokes that are actually funny. It's hard to write jokes in general. Some joke topics on the station could be racial features, department prejudice, Nanotrasen work policy, etc. By making jokes related to what people do, it will be easier for them to smile.
  • Deliver the joke in a professional manner. Writing a joke is one part. Now you got to tell it to people. Make sure they have time to listen and aren't busy doing something else.
  • Do pranks that are actually funny. Make sure the prank is adapted to the target of the prank. Breaking into someone's office and taking a picture isn't a prank. Breaking into someone's office and filling it with the owner's least favorite food is a prank.
  • Do scavenger hunts, competitions and hold games. Get people to partake in some sort of silly contest. Scavenger hunts means you hide a interesting or unique item somewhere on the station and give out clues from time to time. Competitions and games could be: "Clown toss" "Catch the clown" "Write the best joke" "Theme costume contest" are just a few to get your ideas going.
  • Do a stand up show. So you got some jokes and you got some laughs. Take it to the next level. Prepare a funny script (actually funny). Get someone to build a stage or do it yourself. Announce your amazing stand-up show to make sure people attend. Perform.
  • Improvise! See someone with an interesting name? Make a joke about it. Did something funny happen in front of you? Deliver a well worded zinger to make people laugh. This should be done in measure. If you can't come up with a GOOD line then don't say anything.
  • Keep the bad jokes to yourself. You should be remembered for your good jokes, not be forgotten for your bad ones. If you can't think of a good joke, just be quiet. It's better to deliver one good joke than ten bad ones.
  • Make a funny newsfeed. If you're actually funny and can deliver witty jokes in a writing style, the newscaster might be the place for your funnies. Make sure to announce it so people read it or print it out and hand the newspaper to people.

Equipment Clownmask.png

As a female clown, you join or start your shift wearing a Sexyclown.png sexy clown mask and a Sexyclownsuit.png sexy clown suit.

As a male clown, you join or start your shift wearing the classic Clownmask.png mask and Clownsuit.png suit.

Both genders join or start the shift wearing the Shoesclown.png clown shoes.

Regardless of gender and whether you start in your office or you hop onto the station as a late joiner, you spawn with your trusty Clownpack.png Giggles Von Honkerton; a backpack horrifically designed to match your awful, awful wonderful fashion sense.

By default, Giggles contains:

  • Box Oxygen.png Your standard emergency supply box.
  • Banana.png A banana. A good source of potassium, and weapon of mass destruction.
  • Stamp-clown.png Your rubber stamp. Use it on paper or people to make your mark.
  • Crayonbox-full.png A box of colored crayons.
  • Jollyjug.png Your jolly jug! Holds 100 units of banana juice, which heals clowns!
  • Gildedhorn.png A gilded bike horn. Works like any other instrument.
  • Sunflower.png A water flower.
  • Crayon-rainbow.png A rainbow crayon! Smells like candy! Tastes like crayon!

Unlimited Power HONK MECH.png

If the stars align, someone may be fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K. Mech. This behemoth even makes squeaky sounds when it moves, in addition to the awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to install the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' for EXTREME HONKING! Just keep in mind that Security will very likely jump the gun and blast your fun to pieces with an ion rifle or EMP grenade if you abuse your gift too much.

Tips HonkHorn.png

  • The clown mask can be used for internals.
  • If your PDA cartridge (sends a virus that makes your target's PDA honk) has less than 5 charges left, make somebody slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
  • The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time at a surprising range (3 tiles). Make of that what you will.
  • If you want to slip people at terminal velocity, Space Lube is your best friend. You can nag a Chemist or Scientist for some, but don't be surprised if you get beaten to death by the entire crew for your actions.

Why So Serious? SyndicateBalloon.png

We all float down here, Georgie.

Given your status amongst the crew as a nuisance to be avoided or ignored entirely, you have one of the best covers for your nefarious deeds. Nobody will care where you are or what you're doing, so long as you keep out of reach of Security, meaning you can fulfill your objectives without needing to worry about responsibilities on the station. Many spacemen have been "harmlessly" slipped only to then be diced with an energy sword. Honk.

With that in mind, you also have one very special tool in your arsenal: the Banana Grenade, a non-lethal but absolutely chaotic weapon of choice for any clown that wants to make a slick getaway. The Trick Revolver can be used to, well, trick people into shooting themselves - this works especially well combined with the actual revolver, but make sure not to confuse the two. Although that in itself would be funny.

Antag clowns can disable their clumsiness at will, allowing them to fight without risk of accidentally shooting or cuffing themselves.

Skippers
 Comdom-in-Chief • Mr. All-Access • Head of No-Fun • Leader of Yellow Gloves • Nerdo Supreme • Mr. Sawbones' Wild Ride • The Wrangler
Audience VIPs
 Paper Bin • Goose Chaser
Illegal
 Complaint Box • Cool Dumb Wig
Fun Police
 Abuses-His-Gloves • Redtider Goon • Needs a Laugh
Yellow Glove Tribals
 Glove Dispenser • Insane Axe-wielder
The Barnyard
 Quack • Taxi Man • The Lube Source • GIB HALK PLZ?! • Pierrot's Throat • LEAVE ME ALONE • Funny Guy
The Gaping Hole in the station
 Nerd • TOBE YO GUNDAMU
Hats and Guns
 Ministry of Funny Hats • Bringers of Bananium
Dysfunctional In-laws
 Enabler • Knife • Gun • Passes Peels • Son of Honk Mother • The Greatest Enemy, or Best Frienemy • Honk Mother Communer • GET OUT! • Morgue Filler
The Gang
 Hobos • Salt Shakers from Beyond The Veil • Grandpa • Cheese Cannon Fodder • Stone Cold
Enablers
 Doorknob • Needs Honk Module • Roomba • Talk-Box
The Critics
 Ayylmaos • UNGA! • The Meat Grinder • DNA Gourmet • Flying Bricks • Travel Agent • Emos • Best Friend • Wannabe • Fatty • Nuke Inspectors • IPC Fireworks • VIVA • Basement Dweller • RIP AND TEAR • Pizza Delivery • Monkey Torturer • 8-Legged Yikes • Tater Tot • BLAH BLAH BLAH! • Party Poppers • Wiznerd
"Special"
 Greater Comdoms • Cleanup Crew • The Untalented Troupe • Skirt Wearer • Fun Bringers • Weeaboo • Brethren Goofs • Cosplayers • Lost but not forgotten
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