[Sirryan’s Ultimate Guide to being Internal Affairs]

1 hour ago, Anteci said:

Very nice! This is a great guide, will definitely bookmark for future needs.

Good work :clap

Thank you :D

1 hour ago, henri215 said:

Sometimes i feel that people forget's IAAs exists, coming to me with complicated issues that requires proper investigation to act while i, as a Head, have no time to do it, multiple times already i had to redirect them to our forgotten SOP guardian's.

 

Nice guide, i loved it (your vending machine dispenses free food????)(what do you mean by saying people hate doing paperwork?)

IAAs are the forgotten heros of the station. Also yes the vending machine dispenses free food, the job has its perks.

For your last question, all you need to look at is when the QM makes people do paperwork for using the autolathe, it gets ugly.

[Sirryan’s Ultimate Guide to being Internal Affairs]

Sirryan’s Ultimate Guide to being Internal Affairs

Central Command hires trusted people who possess a high level of knowledge of Space Law and Standard Operating Procedures(SOP) to ensure that the rules that govern the station are truthfully and faithfully being followed. Those people are known as Internal Affairs Agents(IAA). While the IAA may not have a significant amount of power they have the backing of Central Command as well as the power of the pen.

Every shift, 1-2 Agents are spawned in the Internal Affairs office just west of the security lobby. Within the office there are two desks, an implant monitor, a long range fax machine, closable shutters, and office supplies. These agents will take reports from various crew members, gather appropriate evidence, and deliver detailed reports to heads of staff.

Internal Affairs is not a position to threaten or bully nor to stir up trouble from. Most of your cases should be derived from people taking complaints to you or if a major violation of SOP/Space Law is clearly present. You do not order people around; You are the middleman between command and corruption. You will be insulted and unnoticed but you can be an integral part of improving other crew members' experience by helping remove the cruel, the unruly, and the dangerous from power.

What you should do before trying Internal Affairs:

• Have General Knowledge of the game and server
• Read The Guide to Paperwork
• Read The Guide to Faxes
• Get Experience in multiple departments
• Be a member of command at least 1-2 shifts
• Play as a security officer/warden for a few shifts
• Have Google/Wiki open while playing
• Have a good knowledge of Space Law(perma/brig/arrest procedure and crime codes)
• Have decent Rhetoric and manners

 

Prep Work:

Every Internal Affairs Agent worth their salt prepares ahead of time for an inevitably chaotic shift. Make sure each of your paperwork templates are ready ahead of time. The Guide to paperwork is a great place to source paperwork templates from. Use your copy machine to make multiple copies of these. You can place them in a folder of your choice to consolidate large amounts of paperwork. I personally used three folders in my briefcase: templates(grey folder), in-progress reports(manilla folrder), and completed reports(red folder)

Put the voice recorder in your pocket and a camera from your office or the courtroom for gathering evidence. 

You can use your backpack or briefcase but using your briefcase is a lot cooler. Feel free to dump your laser pointer as all it’s good for is burning out people’s retinas which is just as easily done with your flash. Pin your attorneys badge to your uniform and you’re ready to go. 

If you want to be more noticeable during the shift, draft up a letter introducing yourself/what you do and send it to all the heads of staff and NTR through your fax. You can also announce over radio that you exist and are ready to hear out various crew members.

Your first report

Inevitably, you’ll notice something that breaches SOP or someone will bring a case to you. Sometimes they’re silly complaints, whatever it is, always tell people "I'll look into it and see what I can do." You’re acknowledging the problem and letting people know that their voices are being heard. 

Once you’re ready to begin investigating, follow this 5-step process to constructing reports that will make people say “Wow!”

A good report has 5 major parts to it. 

1. Identification of the Violator
2. Identification of the SOP Violation
3. The evidence to back up your claims
4. Reasoning/Analysis
5. Recommended course of action

 

Identifying the violator: This is normally an easy task as the person at fault can be clear as day. However, a case can be brought to you where a department has a SOP violation(such as improper execution or cargo failing to deliver objective crates) and it isn’t clear who has made the mistake. When collecting information from a department it is important you ask who was involved and if it really isn’t clear after asking around it is best to identify the entire department as the violator. This is the first thing you should note in your report as well as what job/department they are in. EX:

Personnel in Question: John Greytider, Chemist

Department Head: Steve “Malpractice-Bay” Jones, CMO

 

Identifying the SOP Violation: Before you make the decision to continue your report at this point, always ask yourself “Is this person actively helping NT through these actions?” If the answer is yes then you should discontinue filing a report against them. Why? Internal Affairs is about maintaining high standards on the station and if that means that someone has to break SOP to defend the station or help it succeed (ex: cargo ordering a lifetime supply of combat shotguns during nuke ops without command’s permission) then you shouldn’t actively try to stop them. Don’t needlessly prosecute people else you earn the nickname “hardass.”

SOP is a guideline for how to run the station and like our server rules is not a technicality checklist for demoting people. Vice Versa, people may not have technically violated SOP but they did violate the spirit of it. Figure out what part of SOP they violated and mark it clearly on the first page of your report. Ex:

SOP Rule Violated: Prisoners are entitled to their Radio, ID, PDA, shoes, and uniform

       Or

SOP Violation: The RD verbally harassed their department staff and while this isn’t explicitly 
written, it is implied that crew can be demoted for being overly toxic.

 

Your Evidence: Have you ever had your high school English teacher tell you to use TEA(Topic Evidence Analysis) while writing an essay? Well this is no different. You’ve already defined your topic which is who did it and what was done. Now you have to show the recipient of your report why they're guilty. The evidence can come in many forms: photographs, audio recordings, and records to name a few. 

You get photographs by, surprise surprise, using your camera to take pictures of an incident. The photo should imply what’s going on rather than just a picture of the personnel in question or an image of a room. It should compliment whatever claims you make. Always attach this directly to the document it supports.

For example, a picture of a sec officer sitting in the PA room on green.

 

You get audio recordings by interviewing personnel. Setting up the interview is just as important as how you conduct it. Simply PDA’ing people and asking them if you can ask them a few questions is the best method outside of finding them in-person. You never want to insult or demand from people as they can easily just refuse to answer your questions. Thankfully, most people want to give their side of the story so as to not get fired. Make sure to always interview both sides involved to avoid accidental bias.

You should always start recording(right click to print a transcript when you’re finished) the second you sit down with someone because they may relay important information before you have time to introduce yourself or ask any questions. You shouldn’t directly ask people whether the person in question violated SOP. Instead, you should ask them specific questions about whether that person did this or that. It's the whole idea of “show don’t tell”. 

For example, don’t ask medbay doctors if the janitor is breaking their SOP. Ask them specifically:

“did the janitor mop on red alert in the medbay?” 
or 
“did the janitor throw a cleaning grenade in medbay without permission?”

 

Records are very helpful in a report. These can include fingerprint scans, cell logs, security records, body scans, and much more. Security records can give context to a person’s criminal history and behavior. Body scans can prove victim’s injuries. Clip them to the sections of your report that they support.

 

Your Reasoning: Most head’s of staff have little time to deal with issues of SOP, especially when the station is in the middle of a red alert. So you need to quickly and concisely convince and educate said head of staff on the contents of your report and what they mean.

After you have stated which employee broke SOP you should summarize the context in which the event happened. Mention any crimes they committed as well as explaining how their ignorance or malice led to SOP being breached. Explain any injuries caused by their actions. Be concise and specific. EX:

Summary: John Brown, the geneticist, gave out hulk powers to random civilians 
without permission from the RD or any other command members. This led to various
walls being destroyed around the station and the brigging of two civilians for damage to
station assets. He did this on blue alert without any identifiable threat to the station 
present.

A summary like that will take the RD/Captain/NTR less than a minute to read. It gets them interested in what is going on and states clear concise facts that undeniably prove that the geneticist is breaking his SOP while providing context as to why this was not ok. 

 

What to do with your report

The first thing you do with a finished report is stamp it with your legal department stamp and [sign] it. If you do not stamp it, it is not official and people can and should ignore it. You should always fax it to the appropriate department head and the magistrate(they’re technically your boss so keep them in the loop). Let people know over procedure comms(:x) and PDA the person you faxed it to. File the original report in your office or in a folder you carry so that you always have another copy in case you need to reference it.

Help I’m being ignored!

Congratulations, you’re being treated like every IAA ever. A department head can do 3 things with your faxed report: read it and follow your advice, ignore it, or read it and decide not to follow your advice. If your report goes ignored for 5-10 minutes, let the department head know and give them a few more minutes to deal with it(they’re busy you know).

In the case that they don’t agree with you and excuse the behavior, usually, you just let it go and move onto something else more important. However, if it’s a big enough issue that can’t be ignored(ex: Genetics giving out hulk or the singularity isn’t being maintained properly) you should discontinue trying to argue with them and move up the chain of command.

 

Keep in mind: Don’t badger people about your reports, sometimes a bigger emergency takes precedence over minor/medium SOP breaches. However, follow-up with these breaches once the emergency subsides

In either of those cases you should fax your report to the NTR and Captain. Both the NTR and Captain will either fix this or tell you to piss off. If the captain chooses to ignore you and not act on an SOP violation of high importance then you must elevate the issue.
 

Calling in the Big Guns

When you’re faxing Central Command for SOP breaches make sure you thoroughly investigated the issue. This is the last resort.

Write your fax like you’re writing a letter to someone you respect. You must be clear, concise, and specific. Give names and explain exactly how you went about dealing with the SOP breach. Explain how much time you gave heads to react and attach your report to the fax. You’re not faxing CC because of the SOP breach you’re faxing them because command utterly failed to do jack squat about it. Always sign, stamp, and name it. Include the key words NSS Cyberiad and Internal Affairs and a 3-5 word summary of the issue in the title. Ex:

Cyberiad IA: Illegally constructed AIs

Patiently await the reply. In the case the gods aren’t online, go do something else for the time being. You will be alerted by bold text when a reply has been sent to your machine. Read it and do exactly what is ordered on it. 

You can also fax Central Command to clarify nuances in Space Law and SOP in the case that nobody knows the right answer. In the case that there is an emergency that threatens to destroy the entire station and command/NTR fails to call for an ERT or support, it is your job to formulate a fax to CC to inform them on the situation and request for aid.

In general this is how you should handle elevating cases in cases of negligence to act.

Space Law Issues: HoS -> Magistrate/Captain -> Central Command

SOP Issues: Head of Staff -> Captain and NTR -> Central Command

 

Security and You

Repeat after me. “I am not a security officer. I will not ask for a taser or baton. I will not try to arrest people. I will not valid hunt.”

You are the check and balances to security. Make sure to double check all cell logs and arrest records; It helps to maintain a folder full of cell logs so that they are organized and you can file them away after review. Make sure people aren’t sitting in processing for 10+ minutes without good and reason and that evidence isn’t being abused. 

Don’t interrupt arrests/prisoner processing or the HoS/Warden can and will brig you for A&E and then restrict your access in security. Infact, it’s best if you avoid stepping into processing except when someone from security asks you to come in because a prisoner wishes to talk to you.

Officers are usually buddy-buddy with each other so make sure that they are also policing themselves. Space law applies to everyone.

 

Protecting the Reputation of IAAs

Quote

“The IAA is generally considered a joke role. I've lost count of the number of butt faxes I've got from IAAs who don't take their role with even an ounce of seriousness.” -Kyet

Don’t be that IAA, don’t assfax central command. If we are working together and you do this I will personally disembowel you before CC can spool up their BSA. You may not only get job-banned but you just wasted 1 of two IAA slots that someone else could have played in for an entire shift.

People will naturally dislike you, rise above their expectations

You are supposed to act like you deserve to wear an attorney’s badge. Be respectful, courteous, and kind to people. Respect the space of employees; Just because you have access somewhere doesn’t mean you can loiter in there. You can pop in to peak around departments but people will get upset if you are a vulture.

The amount of effort people are willing to put into listening to you depends entirely on their view of you and the IAA role. If you fuck around round-to-round no one will take you seriously. 

You should also dress like an IAA so try and follow these guidelines below.

Dress Code:

• Darker/Muted Clothing, preferably a suit and tie
• Professional Attire and Leather/Brown/Black/Lace up Shoes
• Avoid belts and backpack
• Use Satchels/Briefcases

 

 

General Tips:

• Your filing cabinet full of employee contracts is sacred, don’t let the slaves crew members get their filthy claws on it
• Use your flash to disarm briefcase thieves
• The better knowledge of BBCode you have, the more likely people will actually read your report all the way through
• There’s nothing more people hate then filling out paperwork; Record interviews, don’t make people fill out complaint forms unless they want to
• Create your own paperwork templates if you want to be more efficient
• The Magistrate decides Space Law issues, not SoP. Don’t let them push you around and excuse a breach. However, try and be friends with the magistrate, they’re technically your boss and can demote you
• Right click your camera and set its focus to be 7x7 or 5x5
• Remove the cartridge from your recorder and wipe it when you need to conduct another interview and want a clean transcript
• Gamma Alert means that SOP is thrown out the window, don’t try to enforce it(you might get shot)
• CTRL-Click to take a pen out of your PDA, everyone starts with one
• I go by Edgar Cook ingame, if we end up working together, ask me and I will help you.
• The Vending machine in your room dispenses free food
• Use your shutters if you’re discussing something important or there are bystanders that are being loud
• Security doesn’t have access to your office so don’t let them in unless there is an emergency
• Play to have fun, focus on RP avoid the mentality of trying to “win” by getting people demoted and you’ll enjoy the IAA role more

 

Sources/Reference:

Paradise IAA Guide

Paradise Standard Operating Procedure Wiki

Paradise Legal Standard Operating Procedure Wiki

Paradise Space Law Wiki

Paradise Guide to Paperwork

Paperwork Example/Templates

Community Discussion on the IAA (Forum Post)

BryanR/bryanayalalugo's guide to IAA

Kyet's take on the IAA

Gr1lledcheese talks about legal SOP

Why not to Assfax CC

Being a likeable IAA

Free Paperwork Templates

Disclaimer: This isn’t the only way to play IAA but it’s pretty damn close. Please leave suggestions for me to update this as it’s not absolutely perfect and I’ll consider putting them in. Also there’s a lot more I don’t cover because you could easily write a small book on how to IAA so read my info sources if you want to learn more. Also I’ll start a running list of IC names if people are willing to help out players as new IAAs.

[Let Cortical Borers see the health status of their host.]

Well cortical borers can only tell whats going on with their host by reading their sensory input through their brain. So I don't think borers should be able to determine health outside of what the host would be able to without a health analyzer. Most of the time you should be able to tell what your host is suffering from in the case that they're injured/dying just by observing their symptoms.

[Good Day.]

Welcome to the community!

[VO Rework (Original Content!)]

That's some good voice work. 

I feel as though this doesn't fit the general atmosphere of the station very well. The tone is very serious and very professional and for generic announcements it's kind of overbearing whereas the AI voice we have now is like a background noise and its not terribly great at grabbing peoples attention(which is good). It's almost like you're walking through the grocery store and you hear this deep voice come on and announce that there is a spill on aisle 5 and it just increases peoples anxiety unnecessarily.

However, your voiceovers remind me a lot of SCP: Secret Laboratory's VOs(which are sick) and I think your VOs would still have a place in some circumstances for the Cyberiad. There isn't a VO for gamma/delta/red alerts and a more serious tone for those kinds of announcements might better articulate the seriousness of such a situation. If you were to continue working on these, focus on your sound being less crisp and more smooth; Announcements should flow with a legato style so focus on speaking relaxed and slowly.

Otherwise, thank you for contributing your talents to the server :D it's super cool to see people give back to the community.

[Say before you faint]

I think this would make it much more difficult for antags to have a chance. This would most negatively effect newer players as it's already difficult enough for them to attempt to do syndie/cult objectives that involve kidnapping/assassinations. Maybe if we had a bigger map this would be feasible? Boxstation already has such small amounts of places to hide and do illegal things that announcing the location of the antag before they get away ruins the fun of trying to hunt them down.

[Screenshot thread!]

Digging through my old screenshots I found even more.

A shadowling desperately trying to prevent a borg from hacking a door while his shadowstep ability regenerates.

Spoiler

The HoS steps into a wormhole

Spoiler

Some really cool diners I've built in maintenance

Spoiler

The shift where no chairs spawned on the station and life became hell

Spoiler

The time admemes played the Jaws theme.

Spoiler

 

[Mechanic Shop]

This stuff is always really cool to see

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

It's even got a top hat. That's sick.

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

On 11/1/2020 at 4:58 PM, Fraility said:

wow no snippy comments, you guys are boring

1

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

Because I failed math in 9th grade

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

Six delicious syndie cakes ready to be eaten

[Syndi-cakes]

I'm just referencing the fact the they're so widely available that there is no point to them being contraband. That's also ignoring that they have such little value anyway.

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

One assfax delivered to Central Command

[Syndi-cakes]

Syndie cakes aren't contraband. Mostly because all you have to do is hack a vendor. Even syndicate balloons aren't either.

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

one day we will reach thirty and there's nothing you can do to stop us

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

11 clowns slipping security

[Ventcrawl]

Oh yeah I forgot about lesser form. Monkeys should be able to vent crawl but I don't believe they can wear anything while doing it.

[Reach the highest number without an admin posting]

gonna have to make that two hats

[Ventcrawl]

I believe the only way to vent crawl as a changeling is to be a headslug or have a traitor items such as the Contortionist Jumpsuit. However, if vent crawling is an unlocked changeling ability something please correct me.

Normally in order to vent crawl, you cannot have a backpack on and cannot be holding anything. Additionally the only way to initiate a vent crawl is to use ALT CLICK on a vent/scrubber. You said you were using shift-click which just examines things.

[Screenshot thread!]

Spoiler

Still my favorite event(and memory) on Paradise. Denthamos put on another one like it today and it reminded me to share this with people. We had to fill out the interior of the white ship with full atmos/bridge/medbay/crew quarters/etc.