NTSAM
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Posts posted by NTSAM
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There's a wild amount of depth in the events leading to and following the roburgering of Madi Kasper.
And it all started with a desire to copy my ass.
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After seeing Robert do his thing, I wondered if I could beat his record of photocopying his ass on every photocopier on the station.
Cue NT-Sam, Assistant, aboard the NSS Cyberiad, here to copy her source code everywhere and anywhere she shouldn't be.
Round starts and I immediately nab a multitool and full set of tools from Tool Storage as is tradition. I break into the NT Rep's office first, emptying their copier of toner skillfully, shoving myself in the trash to come back around and do the BS' office -- But I flush the disposals too soon and am detained by a security borg, who lets me off with a sinister warning in Trinary.
I walk out of the brig into the front of the bridge, where I see Uv'uidrrixz playfully threatening the Representative. I joke, "Let's kill the representative," and he actually breaks into the bridge to table poor Scarlett. In the chaos that ensued, I nabbed a CE's baton and telebatonned all of command, stealing the NT Rep's staff as well and strolling into the captain's office to do my photocopying. Eventually the Blueshield comes along and I baton them and empty their taser into them before being chased around the station by their girlfriend.
After a yaketysax I go to the Garden to meet back up with Uv, and see the blueshield naked and in cuffs and a grey in pajamas being escorted away. Suddenly an officer starts to detain Uv so we make a break for the maintenance tunnel and do incredibly well at fending off the Security force until Rioz and Shesi comes along and skillfully kicks our respective chitinous and metallic asses.
Apparently... Our harmless shenanigans crossed paths with actually genuinely diabolical shenanigans in which the BS was forcefully fed a roburger and stripped, out of nowhere. We try explaining that we had absolutely no idea about Sputnik's plot, but are charged with aiding and abetting -- Fair enough, into perma we go... For about half a minute, until Sputnik's subverted borg breaks open perma.
Uv' and I are good boys and decide to stay in perma, and just as I move in for a heat of the moment kiss, tesloose. We get out of there and the warden starts shooting at us with buckshot despite neither of us having lethal intent, and Uv bleeds out from his injuries while I slowly run out of oil and collapse as I'm dragged around.
We miss the shuttle and the pods, and I'm left in the brig with the Warden, who kills himself, and an officer (or maybe it was an IAA?) who was killed in the wonderfully-timed radiation storm. Round ends with Sam handcuffed on the floor playing centuries-old music for herself while her oil reserves deplete.
TL;DR: Tried photocopying my ass throughout the station, ended up dying in the Brig for accidentally aiding and abetting roburger-based murder.
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R5.5, the captain insists the AI is rogue and is currently forcing his way into the satellite to card them, alongside the RD! They're destroying turrets and doors trying to get to them. With said AI on standard corporate module, what is the most productive course of action?
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Did you know you can boobytrap crates?
I believe all you need to do is hit a closed crate with cable coil and an electropack. It's like touching a shocked grille or door.
Hit a booze bottle full of ants with a welder until superhot for a horrid ghetto weapon. Just slam it over someone's head.
Niti taught me both of these tips.
You can use mousetraps as an assembly component in large grenades for landmines. Remember to prime them. Put a primed one in a backpack and they'll be set off when someone tries to open the backpack.
Take away unruly prisoners' shoes, if they end up bolting out of the brig they'll run slower than your officers and be prone to getting glass shards in their feet.
IIRC CHANGELING husks don't have blood. If you're trying to figure out the difference between someone who's just been horribly, horribly BURNT vs lingified, and can't figure it out from circumstance, try taking a blood sample.
oh yeah, my absolute favorite, most useless tip of all time: fill a cup of cup ramen with 10 units of water to make slightly more nutritious and warm cup ramen!!!!!
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A rather... actually typical sight aboard the Cyberiad.
The council will decide your fate.
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Silence S is a very sweet diona.
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Full Name: Zven Zramn
Age: 28 years of age, in Universal Time standards
Gender: Male
Race: Kidan
Blood Type: A-
General Occupational Role(s): Doctor, Brig Physician, Blueshield, Warden
Biography:
SpoilerZven, a Drone of clan Zramn, was born on Aurum to a family of shipwrights. Zven was never quite happy with this fate, and when he was hospitalized at age 16 while working on a Skrellian engine, he realized he wanted to work in the medical field. From that point forward, he strove to accrue the necessary funds and connections to get off Aurum and at 20 years old he began college.
Now Zven is 28 years old and is practicing medicine on the Cyberiad as a resident physician. He's paid off most of his debts by now and lives with his SO Itavyrk. He no longer associates with the Zramns and merely keeps the clan name for ease.
Qualifications:
SpoilerZven has passed medical school.
His experience as an apprentice shipwright is worth mentioning.
Employment Records:
Spoilerwip
Security Records:
SpoilerBirthdate: 08 February, 2535
Height: 187 cm
Weight: 62 kg
Eye Color: Orange
Hair Color: N/A
Species: Kidan
IDENTIFYING FEATURES:
Xion brand right hand prosthetic.
ARREST HISTORY
None to date.
RECORD UP TO DATE AS OF 01 JANUARY 2563
Medical Records:
SpoilerBirthdate: 08 February, 2535
Height: 187 cm
Weight: 62 kg
Eye Color: Orange
Hair Color: N/A
Species: Kidan
Prosthetics: Xion brand right hand prosthetic replacement.
Allergies: None
Surgical History:
2551 - Amputation + Prosthesis installation - Degloved hand, covered by insurance - Dr. Z. Zilquum
Medication History:
None.
Doctor's notes: Admitted to being a stress-drinker and smoker.
RECORD UP TO DATE AS OF 01 JANUARY, 2563
Personnel Photo (Appearance text):
Spoiler
(from Drakeven!)
Not a lot particularly stands out about Zven. He's about as uninteresting as Kida come, with big, orange eyes and two beetle-like horns sticking out of his head.
Commendations [only to be added by admin]:
Reprimands [only to be added by admin]:
Other Notes:
Zven is left handed and has a debilitating phobia of butterflies. The mere mention of butterflies makes his... skin..? crawl.
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Medical. I love being doctor but man, it just makes me hate the department worse these days. I don't get how so many people can be so bad at a job you can do actually reasonably well with by reading the wiki and asking other people for help. And one so vital to the flow of the round! And then you have the people that plug their virtual ears, defy any sense, and try to clone a robot.
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I made toilet water boobytraps and pranked these two so bad I felt guilty.
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Be me, IPC warden.
Processing a Sleeping Carp user for perma alone because no one would listen to my repeated calls for an assistant officer.
Shove him in isolation for the the time being. Stun, uncuff, stun again... He gets right back up almost instantly and punches my limbs off to death
Sit in robotics for 15 minutes getting revived, find out prisoner was executed for murder, go cryo because the lack of assistance made me grumpy.
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an oldie but a
fucking nightmaregoodie
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APCs are in every major room and hallway, though
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Granted, and its so good that, suddenly, everyone floods the species for this language and they get worse than fucking dogbeasts in the long run
i wish i could figure out who that one person is that left my discord friendslist and made it inequal again
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give them wings and neon green plating mandatory
oh yes and fucking horrid degenerated animal lookalike manufacturers only, delet everything else
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Granted, however, we continue life as it is today as some backwater planet in an obscure starsystem and we don't even get to see the action because all the 40k peeps are on the other side of the galaxy.
i wish i didn't have to clean out some fat dude's frosty rain gutters in the winter
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it was literally a win button if you had a gun
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I was thinking it could be a botany module, when emagged it has the ability to eat organic matter it usually cant, like Humans, and then turn them into biomass or something.
Exactly what I had in mind, yes.
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"The Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR) was a project by Robotic Technology Inc. (RTI) and Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. to develop a robotic vehicle that could forage for plant biomass to fuel itself, theoretically operating indefinitely. It was being developed as a concept as part of the DARPA military projects for the United States military.
The project elicited some internet and media rumors after news circulated that the robot would (or at least could) ingest human remains."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energetic ... ical_Robot
Sounds very SS13-y.
Perhaps we can add it as an "auto harvester" tool or something of the sort for Botany, that, when emagged, would run after people to slice them with its (moderately weakened) chainsaw and chop em up?
Or perhaps just a pretty beefy traitor robot (obviously with a high TC price)
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The admins are either apathetic or favoritist, giving special attention to oldies and their own friends, or giving zero attention to anyone at all despite the circumstances.
This is so false I will not even bother going into why it is.
Oh yes I believe you. I was kind of upset at the time of posting and I didn't quite put any reason into that.
There has been many instances back when I was more active when some infractions would occur, whether it be non-antag murder or even just simple LOOC harassment, (I assume that no action was taken here. Apologies if there has been but this quote retains relevancy later.) the admins just would never get to it, no matter how many are online or whatever else is going on at the time.This is something that we often have to point out: we rely immensely on Adminhelps.
Maybe we are playing the game, maybe we were not paying attention at the time, maybe it got buried in the logs. Fact of the matter is, no, we are not omniscient, and yes, stuff sometimes falls through the cracks.
Sexual remarks and emotes, for instance, while a clear breach of one of our Server Rules, is something we cannot actually find out by ourselves unless:
a) We are on the receiving end;
b) We are observing and found that one line amidst the Chat Log Spam;
c) Someone Adminhelps the situation
It is easy to point out at stuff like this and claim nothing was ever done, when it is entirely possible that the Administrators online simply did not see it. This is why we constantly tell you to Adminhelp things. Not doing so is potentially letting rule-breaking behavior go unpunished.
That is the entire point of the Adminhelp system. If we could preemptively react to every single instance of the Rules being broken, we would need the system. But we do.
Fair enough.
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I'll keep my post not-as-short-as-i-expected and simple and leave it at...
The admins are either apathetic or favoritist, giving special attention to oldies and their own friends, or giving zero attention to anyone at all despite the circumstances. There has been many instances back when I was more active when some infractions would occur, whether it be non-antag murder or even just simple LOOC harassment, (I assume that no action was taken here. Apologies if there has been but this quote retains relevancy later.) the admins just would never get to it, no matter how many are online or whatever else is going on at the time.
People seem to be more focused on eliminating any source of gameplay under the false pretenses of "balance" and "advocating roleplay" rather than adding actual features or fixing the real issues in the codebase, (Cough, science, who has been effectively castrated because 'balance issues')
And then there's the absolute lack of roleplay as well, to go along with the decaying level of [enjoyable] gameplay in the server. You will only get conversations if you are in a close group. You will only get a /me if you are in a clique. You won't get character development unless you stay in a circlejerk cluster. I could write a twenty page essay on cliques if I were so determined. Strange thing is, quite a few neo-Paradise players actually seem to be enjoying this steep decline in general interactivity, demanding rounds even longer than normal so they can do absolutely nothing for another couple of hours!
Para, in my view, is and has been for a long time in a very deteriorated state and I don't feel as confident anymore that it's salvageable. The tumors are confirmed to be malignant, and if treatment is not prescribed the community and server will soon be on its deathbed uttering its final words,
"
"I shall drink my last 3 sprites and go to bed now.
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Hm, you know, I kinda remember when, like, SS13 was a game at heart, you get what I'm saying? Something people would play for fun, you know? Sure, there was some roleplay masking tape, but it was still entertaining! And stimulating! The rounds were short enough to keep things fresh, too. Oh man, those were the days. Such a shame that it's shifting slowly towards Slightly-Enhanced Desk Job Simulator 2016, tsk tsk.
Starting as a prisonner
in Suggestions
Posted · Edited by NTSAM
/tg/ has a midround event called Fugitives I believe, sort of the same idea w/criminals that just spawn in but they need to be caught. As Dark said they operate in a grey area in regards to /tg/'s rules on antags.
Similar events regarding roundstart permabrigs have happened before, too! There was an Elysium POW transferred to the Cyberiad's permabrig for some reason, a few days ago.