Splgrk
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Posts
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Posts posted by Splgrk
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Who had the brilliant idea to change the hotkeys for blob. There you are, first time playing blob for fucking months, and nothing works. You go to the wiki, nope, still the same hotkeys, except they don't work. You scroll through the changelog, it's not on the first page. You come back, oh, wait, you're already dead. Isn't that fucking genius.
The entire point of hotkeys is that you get them in your muscle memory so you're faster. If you've played blob a dozen times, you don't just change the fucking hotkeys. I mean, imagine if they just took out what Control+C or something does in windows. How utterly that would throw everyone off for ages.
What an absolutely fantastic way to murder a rare antag that you only get to play a few times a year for no reason whatsoever.
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So, 20 minutes into the shift, fastmos throws a floor tile at me and breaks a bone. I go into surgery, as one would.
I wake up and the surgeon proudly proclaims that he IMPROVED my hands. By replacing them with monkey arms.
I demand my own hands back, as this wasn't even a hand operation, and he refuses. So I text Internal affairs and the CMO.
The surgeon still refuses, but now claims that I actually consented to this operation. I deny that and the surgeon gets fired.
So far, normal medical misshap, one might think.
Except this is where things really start.
The CMO puts my old hands back. Except by now, they have rotted. I die during surgery, still unconscious, from massive infection. She tries to drag my body to the defib to bring me back, except at that moment, WORMHOLES open and my body falls through and to engineering.
Eventually, someone discovery my rotting body.
I'm brought to medbay and cloned. Except something goes wrong during the cloning process.
I wake up naked, brain damaged and... blind.
No worries, says the CMO, just some oculine. The oculine doesn't help.
Must be genetic then! Nope, resetting my genes does nothing either.
Wait, where my eyes always a dark red? No, they used to be blue...
Turns out, I was cloned without eyes.
So I'm brought to surgery, where monkey's eyes are removed.
Except... the monkey's eyes can't be put into my sockets. Because, even though I don't have eyse, there is no room for eyes in my eyes.
Turns out that's the wrong way to do that surgery.
Second time, the surgeon slips and breaks my skull. Also, I'm losing a lot of blood.
The shuttle is called.Finally, third attempt, the new eyes go in.
Skull still broken, I'm dragged out and into the tubes.
Back for another surgery. This time without anesthetic, so the surgeon slips four times. Blood loss is adding up again, so I'm now dizzy and getting brain damage.
But the shuttle is here now, so enough surgery for today.
Total time spent on this odyssey of surgery: over 90 minutes. For a tile to the chest.
This may have been the most SS13 shift of all shifts ever.
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That's why you combine it with lying.
"Officer, I just found this tome, I was bringing it to the chapel, I swear. Look, the holy water isn't doing anything. I've been here for ten minutes, can I go now?"
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Huh. I had no idea that you could chemically counter holy water. Never even occured to me to look it up. Bravo.
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Eh, you don't have to fight that often as a warden. It's entirely manageable if you know how to brig a prisoner. Once they are in a cell, there's almost no way for them to hurt you if you handle them right.
Also, as a general tip: be nice to your prisoners. Especially the perma ones. Bringing them the occasional snack or going for a chat in downtimes can do a lot in defusing situations that could end in riots.
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9 hours ago, YungCuz said:
Though the question is who would Slith be doing it WITH if he was always blamed?
Some lizards are parthenogenic.
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So, medbay chemistry had:
No 100u beakers (we had to deconstruct glass tables to make them in science)
No IV bags to get blood from monkeys (we had to find some in maint)
No reagent locker (had to make everything from scratch, which took ages)
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Suggestion instead of the McDonalds: interstellar fast food truck. Essentially, similar to Sol traders, but they sell specialty foods.
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That's why you never flee back the way you came. Maint or disposals, always.
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For the record, SINA- was never on Mars, doesn't know anything about explosives and any records of her being near any bar in 2498 are expunged.
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I really don't think you should have traitor goals that could conceivably happen by accident.
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To: NAS Trurl Public Mailing List ([email protected]
From: SINA-, Warden ([email protected])
Subject: IPC bodies
Hey Jenkins,I know you said no the last 16 times I asked, but can I bring one of my own bodies to work next shift? The standard IPC bodies that Nanotrasen provides us electronic employees are total shit. I work security, I need armor. Not plastic that somehow manages to fall apart when hit by EMP. I mean, I understand you won't let me use my SolGov Special Forces body because of the orbital drop pack and the rocket launchers, but I have one that I built myself that has an inbuilt rapid-fire taser and environmentally built riot armour? Surely you can't object to that.
SINA-
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Killing doesn't have to be loud. Just strangle them, oxygen damage means you can't talk.
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I've been morgued for no reason even when still defibbable and cloneable, simply because the doctor receiving my corpse couldn't find a defib and didn't know how the cloner worked. Removing the cloner would absolutely end with more people in the morgue.
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We used to have "make an example out of". That was taken out ages ago.
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Credits are pretty useless, yeah. There's a few small things you can buy now, other than vending machine food, but it's still mainly toys and gambling.
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Well, there's nothing wrong with that, is there? Nanotrasen surely will do the right thing with this. If you're worried, why not just visit medbay and see for yourself? You will feel better after a cloning or two.
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The system really seems super deadly. I mean, maybe it was an extreme fluke, but... I went into medbay with some damage and a broken rib. I was in the red, not critical, just red. Could still walk and talk, didn't seem too bad. Surgeon scanned me, popped me on the table, put the nitreous oxide on and... I died. Immediately, from one second to the other. Asking back with an admin tells me that no, that wasn't an assassination attempt or a slow-acting poison, I just died from long- term wound effects.
You know what would probably help? Buffing paramedics. Maybe for a start, larger shifts could have two paramedics and they could start with some more emergency gear to stabilize people? (Are Stasis Bags still a thing? I haven't played medbay in years.)
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9 hours ago, Calecute said:
I like the idea. Also flogging has a proud tradition in the navy.
The good thing about flogging, in addition to the event of a public flogging, is that it allows sec to basically let someone go, but also punishing them. I've frequently seen sec just wanting to let someone go with a slap on the wrist, but feeling they couldn't or shouldn't. Flogging lets them literally let people go with a slap on the wrist if they feel like it. (althou you need a generous interpretation of "slap" and people probably shouldn't be flogged on the wrist tbh).Why not just give people a slap on the wrist then? I've had plenty of cases as a warden where I just told people to be nice and not do it again for 5 minute crimes like very minor battery or trespass.
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I feel like I'm missing context there.
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2 hours ago, davidchan said:
Cereal is soup. Mash potatoes are hot ice cream.
But mash potatoes are made with butter, not cream. Also, they contain no eggs.
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Wait, they took epipen from the starting boxes too? Do they just want everyone to spend all shift dead?
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All those people who get annoyed over whether tomatoes are fruit or vegetables hsould just realize that the meaning of words is depending on context. In a botanical context, a tomato is a fruit. In a culinary context, it's a vegetable. Which is a category that has no botanic meaning at all, beyond "Plant part we eat and that is not sweet." There's lots of words that have different meanings in different disciplines.
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If anything, Warden should be a more trusted role than Blueshield.
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Admin complaint: Harkness22
in Resolved
Posted · Edited by Splgrk
Admin(s) Key: Harkness22
Your ckey (Byond username): splgrk
Your Discord name (if applicable): eldan985
Date(s) of incident (GMT preferred): 26.04.2019
Nature of complaint: Misapplication of rules
(Select all that apply: EG - clarification required, misapplication of rules, misconduct, abuse of powers, feedback, other)
Brief description (tl;dr here. Just the critical elements): Was being mistreated by sec. Made a complaint to an admin. After a maybe a dozen messages back and forth that I thought was a discussion of the event, admin permabanned me with no warning for "spamming ahelp".
Full description of events:
I picked another assistant's ID off the floor and put it on for a joke. It was just lying in the main corridor. An officer, seeing this, tazed me in the back with no warning and dragged me to prison. I was stripped naked and had my headset taken when I complained on the coms. After having my headset taken, I shoved the arresting officer out the door and tried to disarm him. He harmbatoned me twice, put me back in my cell and left me bucklecuffed, while he increased hte prison time to 25 minutes.
At this point, I sent an ahelp about the entire situation. A few messages were sent back and forth. In the end, before I got any definitive response from the admin about the situation, the HOS came in and lowered my sentence back to five minutes.
After the sentence was over, I was trapped in the cells and could not get out. I tried calling over a few officers, but they seemed busy. At this point, I deconstructed the bed in my cell, which I admit was a bit childish. Another officer came in and arrested me again, for "major trespass". When I explained to him that my sentence was over and I just could not get out of my cell, he said that he did not care.
So I ahelped again, which what I thought was a new case and new information. At this point, I was banned for spamming ahelp.
This, to me, kinda came entirely out of the blue. As far as I can remember, I was not told to stop, or that I was writing too many ahelps, I just sent one new message in with some new information, so the admin could have a full picture of the situation as I saw it. Before that, I had sent maybe five or six messages, describing the entire story, mostly broken up into several messages because writing one entire long post in that small text field at the bottom of the screen gets unwieldy quickly.
So, that just leaves me kinda confused about what exactly was wrong about writing another message about a new incident. I mean, if breaking up a message into several lines is such a problem, he could just have told me...