Bright's (Practical) Guidelines for Detective Duty - Revised

[TullyBBurnalot]

 

So you want to be a Detective aboard the NSS Cyberiad?

 

God help you.

 

Here's a revised edition of my previous guide, with more practical considerations being taken.

 

Step 1: Understand your tools

 

You can find most of your crime fighting tools inside your office, but some of them you'll need to go further away. Here's a full list of what you'll need as a proper Detective:

 

The Scanner: This is your bread and butter. When pointing it at an item/tile/wall/whatever, it will tell you any prints/fibers/DNA present on the thing scanned. Prints and DNA samples are presented as a random string of letters and numbers, one generated per each for every crew member (and monkeys. If you find a string that doesn't match records, it probably belongs to a monkey). Selecting the scanner with it in your active hand prints out a report of everything the scanner... scanned since you last printed a report. As such, printing every time you're done investigating something is recommended, or else your final reports will have a lot of junk. You start with one, and there's a replacement in your Closet.

 

The Laptop: Related to the above, it is EXTREMELY important (seriously, can't stress this enough) to carry around a laptop at all times. Seeing as your scanner will immediately give you info on the field, carrying around a laptop will give you quick access to both medical and security records (you get those by default as a Detective) so you can match records to evidence. From personal experience, carrying around a laptop is what distinguishes a case well solved from a murder investigation that drags on for 2 hours. It can also print out Security Records and Medical Records. Obtainable from the laptop vendor in Primary Tool Storage.

 

The Revolver: This is your baby. Treat is as such. And reskin it to The Peacemaker option. Accept no substitutes.

In all seriousness, this is your own personal taser. It fires .38 rubber bullets, but can also chamber the VERY LETHAL .357 rounds. In no circumstance should you carry these around unless given specific permission by the HoS and/or Captain. Couple of .357s to the face will kill anything. As it stands, the .38 round can instantly stun regardless of where you hit, and can easily be made via autolathe (usually, Cargo will ask no questions. If they do, ask Science). Keep in mind, your rubber bullets are called "less lethal" for a reason. Do not shoot people more than once, and even then, only if you need to. You start with it, and have no substitutes. You receive two speedloaders by default, in your Closet.

 

The Handcuffs: You're not a Security Officer, but you can carry around these in your evidence bag box, just in the off chance Security isn't there to help. You start with a pair in your office and, unless someone gives you more, that's your only one. Make sure to get it back every time you use it.

 

The Telescopic Baton: Extending the baton (select it while in your active hand) allows you to instantly stun anyone you hit while on Help Intent. The cooldown for the baton is just slightly lower than the stun duration, allowing you to stunlock anyone.

 

The Sunglasses: Makes for great protection against Flashes, and looks cool as hell. You start with a pair in your office.

 

The Smokes and Lighter: What kind of Detective are you if you don't chain smoke?

 

The Coat and Hat: Why yes, you can look cool doing your job. Your coat provides extra armor, and also serves the purpose of holding two extra items. I recommend the two extra speedloaders. You start with a pair, and have an extra in your Closet.

 

The Black Gloves: Useful for keeping your prints away from everything you touch. You start with a pair.

 

The Police Tape: The police tape serves a dual purpose: first, it allows you to cordon off areas to law-abiding citizens and keep crime scenes clear from any disturbance. Second, it gives you reasonable justification to shoot someone in the groin and throw them out if they decide to ignore the very obvious "STAY OUT" sign and break it so they can robust you and take the body away. On a side note, if one of your fellow officers does that, follow the same logic. Being a Sec Officer does not give you the authority to desecrate a crime scene. Obtainable from your Closet.

 

The Flask: As a Detective, you can't get drunk. You also get a custom flask that holds 60 units of any liquid. Do the math.

 

The Tape Recorder: Useful for taking witness statements or for those pesky criminals who insist on having every conversation recorded so they can b*tch to the IAA and still get brigged because they obviously committed a crime. Also useful for when you have an anal-retentive Magistrate who insists on having everything done by the book or else he releases the prisoner (PS: don't be that guy).

 

The Camera: Useful for taking photographs of crime scenes. Focus should be set to 5x5 or 7x7, depending of course on the size of the scene, and the photograph should then be clipped to the forensics report, Medical or Security report, and whatever else is relevant to the crime in question (see below). You start with one in your office, as well as a couple of spare rolls of film.

 

The Folder: Useful for keeping the forensics reports, Medical or Security Reports, photos and odd pieces of paper-based evidence in one, easy to access package. You start with one in your Forensics Lab (right below the main office).

 

The Evidence Lockers: Evidence goes here, logically. If it's a particularly sensitive item, you might want to weld it shut or transfer the item to the Evidence Lockers north of the Brig, next to Interrogation Observation.

 

The Medical Records Computer / Security Records Computer: Allows you access to what it says on the tin, and can also print out Reports. Present in the Forensics Lab.

 

I believe that is all. Let's move on.

 

Step 2: Understand your access

 

In terms of access, you differ from the Security Officer in two points:

 

1. Firstly, you have access to the morgue, granting you a second point of entry to Medbay and a convenient way of analyzing murder victims without having to pester a doctor to do it. Remember this, however: CORONERS ARE A DETECTIVE'S BEST FRIEND;

2. Secondly, you can't go into closed cells, set the timers, or access the Locker Room or Permabrig. That goes in line with your RP orientation, as you are meant to conduct investigations, not detain criminals. You still have access to the Interrogation Room, Interrogation Observation, and Evidence Storage.

 

 

Step 3: Understand your role

 

You are not a Security Officer.

 

You are not meant to go around shooting people and brigging them for crimes real or imagined. Your job is to find crime scenes, investigate them to the best of your ability and then set Security on the right path to doing their job. The only situation where your direct intervention is required is when an investigation reveals an obvious culprit, in which case, go ahead and apprehend them before they do any more damage. If, however, your sleuthing reveals only possible suspects, let Security handle it.

 

Of course, all this goes out the window if Security is incompetent/nonexistent (ie: most of the time), in which case feel free to apply justice yourself. In all honesty, this is what's going to happen either way, as Security will almost always be too slow to react to get anything done in any feasible amount of time. Just remember that you're supposed to be an investigator, not a cop, and you should act as such. Act when you know that not doing so will result in unnecessary damage to station/crew. Act when you know that Security won't.

 

Step 4: Understand how to act

 

How you go about your business is, of course, a matter of personal preference, as is your character personality. However, here are a few pointers:

 

Be Polite: Going "bad cop" on someone will result in precisely 0 results in 100% of cases (exception might be made if the person in question is really into roleplay and is willing to look past the apparent shitcurity facade). Be nice to people. Be nice to witnesses, suspects and criminals alike. It will make witnesses more cooperative, suspects more likely to come without a fight, and might even make actual criminals more likely to cooperate with Security and scratch out a deal. If nothing else, it will infuriate criminals who try to get a reaction out of you, and that's funny as hell. Not to mention, nice guys don't actually finish last. People will legitimately like you if you act nice towards them.

 

Be Efficient: Taking 15 minutes to investigate a crowbar left in maintenance will probably result in you getting your sorry ass fired. Taking 5 minutes to investigate a double homicide and producing evidence that link it to a specific person? I got medals for that (or should, at least, *grumble grumble*). Your job is to investigate, and a corollary to that is that you're supposed to do that without wasting any more time than is necessary. This, of course, comes with experience, but some general pointers will be further below.

 

Have a Plan: Learn people's jobs by sight. Know their patterns, their access levels, what they should be doing. Devise plans on how to arrest someone without them realizing you were even there. Know when to strike, or if you should even strike. Know the station inside-out, it's nooks and crannies, every spot that could be used to hide a body or murder weapon. Keep tabs on high-risk individuals, or even set up codewords (having the AI shout a codeword over radio if their Upload gets trespassed is a stupidly easy and stupidly useful idea). This, as well, comes from experience. Constant observation and attentiveness is a must for any Detective, so start practicing.

"Know thy enemy and know thyself. In a hundred battles, you will lose not one" - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

Step 5: Understand the crew

 

Here's a handy breakdown of the types of people that you'll encounter and what to do with them:

 

Helpful Witness: This person will happily tell you everything you need to know, and will probably even consent to coming into the Brig to help you in your investigation. These people are a fucking godsend. Treat them like saints.

 

Unhelpful Witness: For whatever reason, some people refuse to testify. Maybe they're too busy, maybe they don't like Security, maybe they're just a dick. There are a million reasons one wouldn't want to testify, but hell, you need that testimony. Try to reason with them as best you can (remember, be polite) and, if all else fails, kindly remind them that refusing to cooperate with an ongoing investigation can be considered Creating a Workplace Hazard (Space Law - 207).

 

Willing Suspect: Related to the Helpful Witness. Tell them they're wanted in a current investigation and ask them to accompany you to the brig. More often than not, these are not the culprits, but don't let this serve as a rule of thumb. Plenty of criminals act unfailingly polite specifically to get your guard down. Never forget to cuff them anyway. Most of the time, asking Security to go get them is a better option.

 

Unwilling Suspect: You've tried your best to convince them to come quietly. Draw your revolver, maybe even point at it. Inform them that they are coming to the brig, and it's their choice on whether or not they come with their hands untied. More often than not will require a bullet to the face to be cooperative. Most of the time, asking Security to go get them is a better option.

 

Cooperative Criminal: A rare breed. Will let you handcuff him/her and search through their belongings. Usually accompanied by fairly decent RP. Put them in the Interrogation Room and switch on that Film Noir style. Start asking for accomplices, objectives, stolen items or contraband. Grill them for info (see below) and feel like a 60's action film Detective. When all's said and done, try and convince the people in charge of sentencing to be more lenient. After all, they just helped you and willingly gave all the info, didn't they? If you find one of these, go play the lottery.

 

Uncooperative Criminal: The easiest one to deal with, honestly. Being a dick to Security? Check. Insulting your mother? Check. Yelling "shitcurity!"? Triple check. Complaining to the admins about "ABOOS HALP AREST 4NOREISIN"? You'd be depressed how often this happens. This guy has all the evidence in the world thrown at him and refuses to do anything but yell expletives at you. Dump all the evidence on the Head of Security/Warden/Magistrate, tell them exactly what he/she did, and walk away. Your job is done.

 

Neutral Criminal: These ones come in without a word or struggle and get out without a word or struggle. Sometimes SSD, sometimes not. Hard to tell, really.

 

Step 6: Understand the process

 

Your job. Here's a handy breakdown of what you'll find.

 

The Murder Investigation:

 

1. The Scene: Locate all exits and stick some police tape on them. Take a picture of the whole thing, put it in the folder, and get to work;

    

2. The Body: Obviously someone who got murdered. Prints and fibers don't show up on items unless you pick them up, so unless the murderer removed the victim's clothing and then put them back on (which never happens), you won't find anything there. However, if the victim is handcuffed, be it with cuffs, zipties or cable restraints, it's a surefire guess that the restraints will contain SOME sort of information to go on. Another interesting thing to note is blood. Normally, a murder victim will be drenched in their own blood, but if they fought back, chances are you might find two separate traces of DNA, possibly leading to your criminal. As such, remove all bloodied items, scan them, then return them to the body. Searching the body for any unusual items is also a good idea. After all's said and done, deliver the body to the Morgue for an autopsy (see below);

    

The Prints: The manna of the gods. Leads to a very clear and defined suspect. Point your scanner at literally every surface and/or object in/at/near the crime scene. Doors and walls next to the doors are good candidates for print locations, as are closets and crates. As mentioned, clothing already on the body is likely not to have prints, but check any smaller items or restraints;

 

The Blood: Perfect way of figuring out who or what was assaulted if no body is present, unless the murderer went the extra mile and got someone else's blood, put it in a vial, cleaned out the previous blood and splashed the new one in its place (PS: please don't do this). If you find a random string that doesn't show up on the database, then the owner is either a monkey, or in cryostorage (ie, body vanished in cryodorms);

 

The Fibers: Will almost never lead to a specific suspect (except in the case of Heads or unique-outfit jobs, like miners), but can almost always narrow down your list of suspects. Let's imagine you find three sets of prints on a murder weapon, one belonging to a Doctor, another to a Roboticist and another belonging to the Botanist. However, the body itself only has fibers from latex gloves. Do the math. Like prints, only show up on items that have been touched by someone;

 

Witnesses: Useful beyond mortal comprehension. LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE, THEY CAN PRACTICALLY SOLVE YOUR CASE BY THEIR MERE EXISTENCE.

 

The Autopsy: Should be left in the hands of a Coroner or Medical Doctor, so if none are present, you'll probably be left without one. However, they are incredibly useful when performed, allowing you to see when someone died and, most importantly, how they died, in addition to any chemicals that were present in their bloodstream.

 

 

The Theft Investigation / The Break-In Investigation:

 

1. The Scene: Same as the Murder Investigation, really. Make sure to remove the tape after you're done and Engineering comes fix whatever was broken;

    

2. The Item: Where was the item held? Was it in a closet, a box, or just out in the open? Locked closets that get emagged will have a grey indicator on the lock, rather than green or red, which is a good indicator that there are traitors aboard the station;

    

The Prints: Incredibly useful here. Pretty much do the same as the murder investigation, but with a bigger emphasis on doors, windows, or other means of access;

 

The Fibers: See above

 

 

Exceptional Case: Cultist Runes

 

1. The Rune: All runes, including those by IPCs (somehow), are drawn in blood. Scanning a rune with your Scanner will reveal the blood of whoever drew the rune. No exceptions. If you find one, scan it as soon as possible, then get a Chaplain to destroy it with a Null Rod, so it can't be used again.

 

 

Final Step: Understand your (OOC) role

 

As a Detective, you're under higher scrutiny for Shitcurity behaviour than regular Sec. There's one of you, and you're not even allowed to perform arrests or anything of the sort. As such, acting like Security is a great way of getting both IC and OOC attention spotlighted on you.

 

No one likes Detectivecurity. NO ONE. Even when you are perfectly justified in an arrest (ie: Security just can't make it, you have plenty of evidence, gave the perp plenty of chances to come peacefully), everyone, including Security, will call you out because "YOU CAN'T ARREST 4NORAISON". If anyone sees you Telebatoning anyone (which does no damage), expect to have "ABOOS" called at you. If you so much as DARE shoot someone who was trying to kill you, expect a storm of Disarms.

 

It's infuriating.

 

And if you can't deal with it, this might not be the role for you.

 

Signed,

 

- Jonah Marigold Bright

 

Edited November 1, 2015 by Guest

[KasparoVv]

 

And it is now that I learn that the endless .38 speedloaders I've been giving detectives are actually rubber bullets

I thought I was fuelling cold blooded killers lmao

 

Amazing(ly detailed) guide, thanks loads for posting this.

 

[TullyBBurnalot]

If .38s were lethals, the Detective wouldn't be a job.

[TullyBBurnalot]

 

And it is now that I learn that the endless .38 speedloaders I've been giving detectives are actually rubber bullets

I thought I was fuelling cold blooded killers lmao

 

Amazing(ly detailed) guide, thanks loads for posting this.

 

In addition, they're, as I stated, less lethal. It's still piss easy to kill people if you aim for the head.

 

[Blackmage199]

 

And it is now that I learn that the endless .38 speedloaders I've been giving detectives are actually rubber bullets

I thought I was fuelling cold blooded killers lmao

 

Amazing(ly detailed) guide, thanks loads for posting this.

 

In addition, they're, as I stated, less lethal. It's still piss easy to kill people if you aim for the head.

 

Heck, I BLEW someone's head off with those.

Don't worry, it was end of the round, anyway!

 

[MindLeaker]

 

An amazing guide, thanks Tully,

Side-note: The Detective's coat is much, much better than the forensic tech's coat. It has major melee defense, good laser, and decent bullet.

 

Also it looks much cooler.

 

[davidchan]

Wait, you mean the detective isn't supposed to sit in the bar all day and drink till his liver gives out, or go out valid hunting? Well I guess I've never seen a real detective then.

[Garoon]

Is it probably a good thing that I tried to follow a lot of the stuff in this guide when I was *rarely* a detective in the past, and I never even read this guide?

[TullyBBurnalot]

 

Well, Garoon, it seems that whenever I don't get Detective, the only thing that gets done is the bar gets raided and the Detective gets wasted, which is why I made this guide in the first place.

 

I have a feeling new players pick this role a lot because they think it's gonna be cool, then realize it actually requires WORK.