Commander Bathus and the Mutiny that Never Was.

[Bath Salts Addict]

 

So I went to go Research Director for what was supposed to be a (hopefully) peaceful, productive round. Mostly, my rounds as RD consist of camping out in the server room sending fake model recruitment messages to Skrell and Vox crewmen about wetskrell.nt or wetvox.nt, (bonus points if the Captain is a skrell or vox) or sending the Captain a threatening message while pretending to be a Nuke Op.

 

However, prank messages were not for me as I ended up being forced into Captainship. Whatever, this has happened before. I'll just grab the teleporter and sit around in my office the entire shift advising the Heads. That's when I saw a message in the chat box.

 

"You are the Head Loyalist!"

 

Fuck.

 

I finished grabbing my stuff and gearing up for the long haul. This was going to be a long shift and I was probably going to end up dead or captured. It took a while to receive the fax, and I took the time to decide if I'd go about things stealthily, or be an authoritarian dictator. It was then I read my objectives. First, I had to make all members of the Research department Shaft Miners aside from the RD. This was the hardest objective, obviously, and I'd have to work with Security and the HoP. Then, we had to actually make sure they would work and send two hundred sheets of material and metal via the cargo shuttle. That was probably the easy part, and we don't even need more than two decent miners to actually do that. A big fuck you to CentComm on my part. Considering the importance of the directive they send you, you'd think the bastards would stamp it or sign it for validity. They don't, and I actually had the urge to ahelp questioning if I could purposely refuse to follow the order considering I have no reason to believe it's valid at all, and just turn the round into an extended round. People hate Mutiny anyways, but I decided I'd go with it anyways.

 

I began by calling the RD, HoS and HoP to my office individually to discuss things. The RD arrived first and I showed him the paper. By rights, I expected him to be the Head Mutineer, but he didn't say much other than voicing his concerns but reluctantly agreeing. I assured him we'd promote them back after we got the materials shipped and he seemed okay at first. The HoS arrived and I explained and showed him the paper. He said he'd have Security stand by and I told him to station men outside the Science department. The HoP then came in with the CMO trying to barge in despite the fact I only asked for the RD, HoP and HoS. My opinion shifted from the RD to the CMO, especially when he read the paper while the HoS kept yelling at him to leave. He finished reading it and left me and the HoP alone. The HoP was one of the more common players and tended to buddy up a select group of people they know OOCly. (Something I like to call circlejerk) I was doubtful they'd willingly go with the directive, considering some of those people were in the Science department. She agreed and I let her out. It was time to make my move.

 

I tuned my radio in to all the frequencies and made a priority announcement asking all Science to come to the HoP's office. I purposely left out the part about being changed to Shaft Miner, but I might as well had. The Science channel was immediately lit with screams of defiance for God knows whatever reason. Sounded a little like metagame to just refuse what seemed like an innocent announcement. I didn't mention anything about a job change or anything like that. Whatever, I posted Security outside Research for this exact same reason. I had the HoS moved his men in and I went to join them to make use of my all-access. We met the RD inside, who joined us and we grabbed a few IDs before scratching our heads in confusion on where the rest of the nerds went. We found out they were at the Research station, but Security had to yakkety sax because a certain Civillian named Bulma Briefs tried to welder bomb the brig, but the Warden caught her. Sounds like self-antagonism to just welder bomb the brig when you have literally nothing to do with the current gamemode.

 

I went back to my office to do Captain things with the other departments for a bit before taking a Sec borg with me to the Research station to grab as many IDs as we could. The borg went back for whatever reason and I proceeded to leave alone when I found the RD on the shuttle. It was at this point I learned the RD had turned turncoat and tried to Schindler's List his Scientists out of my warpath. Fucker didn't even know I had access to the Science channel. Or even watched Schindler's List. I started shooting disablers at him point blank in the back and he tried to run, but I downed him at the door and called the shuttle, locking him in. Turns out, I can bend my arms in a 360 degree angle while buckled into a chair to repeatedly down the RD until we docked.

 

When we docked, we were met by a particularly vicious space carp who immediately set it's beady little sights on our dear old RD. Deciding my life was more important than some traitor to Nanotrasen, I stepped back and let the carp have it's delicious meal for a bit before running in and shooting it when it came at me afterwards. The RD was still in crit so I tried bargaining with Science. I told them I was about to execute him unless they all came quietly. Even after he tried to help them, the nerds in the Science department told me they didn't care about him and refused to my demands. I just said "fuck it" began dragging him to receive medical attention. We just got to the medbay when he died of his wounds, and I figured he wasn't worth the time, effort and money to clone so I shot him out of the Chapel mass driver with a small repertoire and walked back to my office to gloat and laugh evilly in classic authoritarian dictator-esque manner. I made a few announcements and sat back waiting for what looked like would have been my victory for once.

 

Alas, that was not to be as an NT Rep arrived just as I was about to give Bulma a lethal injection due to her crimes earlier that round. He demanded to know why she was being executed and I just non-chalantly threw the folder chalk full of paperwork and picture evidence on why Bulma was a dirty, filthy terrorist and traitor to glorious Nanotrasen before pumping said traitor full of 100u of lethal injection toxin. She took a while to die, but after that was said and done the CMO handed me a fax from Central Command, which was some bullshit because the directive explicitly said not to contact them at any time, and here they were responding to a fax from the CMO. The fax said they were informed of the RD's death, which I lied about to everyone claiming I executed him instead of saying a space carp ate him. I then went to my office and responded to the fax explaining everything. I didn't expect a response because why the fuck would anyone, even admins, side with the Captain during a mutiny round? I was right, and I didn't receive a response.

 

While this was happening, we completely ignored Genetics.

 

They began with moving things around in my office with telekinesis and shoving it in disposals, so we decided to get out. We were then met by an angry CMO, plus the NT Rep, HoP and half the Security team who suddenly decided to join the "hate-the-Captain" bandwagon for no explicable reason. Even the Blueshield turned his gun on me as I was promptly arrested. However, the HoS came in, managed to drag me away revealing his loyalty to me before he was taking down by angry Scientists with hulk and some well-placed taser shots. I was then cuffed but tried to make my escape as I was clawed repeatedly by a scumbag Vox. Eventually, I was downed and dragged to the morgue where I was locked up in a tray for the rest of the round before being dragged to the shuttle in an oxygen-less area, presumably to be fired and executed by Central Command.

 

Thus was the tale of Captain Bathus the Dictator, foiled by metagame, circlejerk and everything in between.

 

I make a damn good dictator, though.

 

[Spacemanspark]

 

Hello, I was Matthew Crysten.

Head of Security was actually AGAINST you, they just saved you after being let free, after I stuck them in cryo because another officer thought it was a good idea to try and shoot lasers at me, and hit them instead.

Your 'execution' (permanently taking them out of the round.) of the RD was rather sudden and unnecessary, and the execution of Bulma for a simple welder tank bomb was ditto.

Hence, when I see you're trying to arrest the NT rep and CMO, I arrested you and the HoS myself (They appeared to be on your side at that moment, I was told later they were trying to stop you. Oops.). Probably would have grabbed you, but the HoS needed medical attention.

 

[DZD]

Yep, HoS was trying to save you from being killed, but was planning on arresting you due to the fact that you tossed Space Law out the window.