Blasphemy

[Tarhalindur]

Enter Takker Khan, my Chaplain. He worshipped a rather untraditional religion: The Pantheonic Multiverse. The belief that we lived in an infinite multiverse, and that occasionally, we would get a glimpse of another universe, causing fiction to spring forth. The most influential beings in the multiverse would become Ascended, the equivalent of gods.

In partly an attempt to show off and partly to show people that yes, this was real, I created a magic circle and asked the Ascended to put something harmless but interesting there. The ascended (played by @Normalyman) put the multiverse sword there. (Yes, it's actually real.) It refused to budge, so I prayed and was told that it would kill me if I tried. James Picard came by and tried to get it. I told him this, and he cursed the ascended, which caused him to become retarded. After he got Mannitol, he expressed an interest to fight the ascended. They responded to this by shocking him with a lightning bolt and throwing him around a bit, followed by M.D. House in the form of a medibot running by and healing him.

James Picard still continued to want to fight them, so I decided to humor him and set up an arena in the Holodeck. After he issued a challenge to divine combat, Bruce Lee showed up to fight Picard. After getting elbowdropped to death, he got cloned, returned to the holodeck, and decided he wanted Round 2. So I fought him myself with my Extradimensional Sword. After winning thanks to said sword, I cut off his head, put it in a magic circle, and recieved a blessing in the form of genetic boosts.

I had to cryo after this, but I was informed by Normalyman after the fact that Picard got cloned again and said he wanted to join my religion.