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Hairy Ban Jhankri

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Posts posted by Hairy Ban Jhankri

  1. 28 minutes ago, Benjaminfallout said:

    Be proactive- arrest criminals before they commit a crime.

    Everybody is a criminal. They just haven't been found out, yet. Justice will be served. Even to CC officials. No one breaks the law, on my goddamn station. Not today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Even in death, will criminal scum serve their time. Running when there is a wet floor sign up? Criminal. Otherwise why would they run? Janitor slips me with a wet floor? Criminal. Otherwise, why would they not use space cleaner? Clown makes a joke? Put them in their rightful place; perma. Don't let the crew get the idea that jokes are tolerated. We're here to work. Scientists make weapons for security? Take them. Then arrest that arms dealer, and put them away until the body rots. Medical saves the person you just beat? Accomplices and accessory to crime. Engineers don't agree to make security a fortress? Revolutionaries, obviously, otherwise they would want security to be secure. Chef doesn't make the food you want? Obviously poisoned the food. Botanists... druggies. Chaplain? Cultist in disguise. Steal their holy book for yourself. Barman? A drunk running around with a firearm. HOP? Giving away access, and I don't like it. Captain? Condom is now illegal, asshole. RD? Supplying those damned arms dealers. AI doesn't open a door to get the criminals? "Rouge". Cargo? Probably ordered weapons, at one point. We just haven't found them, yet. Mime? Doesn't speak. Hiding something. Atmos techs? Plotting to release plasma, fucking terrorists, not on my watch. Blueshield -suggests- that a head isn't a criminal? Impersonating an officer and meddling in security affairs will get you thrown away for a long time, bub. Hope you like eating twinkies and candy corn, that's all you'll be eating where we are sending you, guy. NT Rep, suggesting we aren't being productive? How about you be productive with a pick on the mining rock. All you get is a pair of shoes. Magistrate, thinks they know the law? I AM THE LAW! Lets see, who else? H-WHATS THIS, A LATE JOINED SEC OFFICER LET A CRIMINAL OUT OF THEIR CELL? Traitor. Warden suggests we can't possibly fit the entire crew into the cells? Lazy, dereliction of duty. HOS says we've gone too far? No longer fit for duty to lead. Congratulations, you are promoted to Head of Security, and you sit on your throne, as the prince of Cyber-Air.

     

    EDIT: Also this 

     

  2. 1 hour ago, ZN23X said:

    Shitcurity is yet another "allowed" derogatory term,  like furry, that all the edgy teenagers use because they aren't allowed to use the derogatory terms that have been normalized by the other garbage environments they were raised in playing other games. 

    Plus they naturally have to kick and scream like the children they are any time stuff doesn't go how they want it to.

    That all being said, the initial post here was clearly a troll post to stir shit up.  Stop responding to it in a serious fashion and giving it some sort of validity.

    So first, it was clearly a "troll post" in the sense of it being a lampoon. "Troll" has the implication of it being for a malicious intent, same as "stir shit up". This was indeed a joke, a caricature, a lampoon, spoof, farce, parody, for enjoyment. A possible solution does not mean a good solution; the fact that it indeed is plausible was interesting to me, as I am not sure how often something so outlandish is actually indeed able to be plausible. I am certain, that with very few tweaks, someone could have a server without security, and be absolutely fine. There have been plenty of servers without rules, even, that are dictated purely by RP, and they have surprisingly been fine. But the implication of malicious intent, is disheartening. This was, or so I thought, clearly light-hearted, and meant for the casual discussion for the purpose of opening up serious dialogue from a place of comedy and community. I think most people got the joke; I'm not sure people got the intent of the joke, though, and that it is meant to spark discussion and "think tank". These sorts of posts were quite common and well received years prior; if they are no longer welcome, or they are no longer understood, let me know, and I will cease further humour. 

    For everything else; I'm not sure people remember what shitcurity means. It is the same as "captain is comdom" "ai is rouge" "George Melons is griffing me 4no Raisins". Memes. Common jokes, with associated meanings. Almost never serious. Here are some links to help explain the jokes versus when it is actually serious

     https://tgstation13.org/wiki/Shitcurity  https://www.reddit.com/r/SS13/comments/3174il/what_do_you_consider_shitcurity/

    Shitcurity is a prevalent meme, because of how almost every security player falls into learning the ropes. For example; harmbatoning, which is also a meme, because of how often it happens. It is only after learning what to do, not do, how, when, why, etc, that if certain things are repeated, that it becomes an unironic use of shitsec. Or comdom. Or "Rouge". Or what have you. 

     

    I'm not sure how it is derogatory, because it has never been, nor am I sure how it compares to "furry". If the meanings have evolved as such, then I must have missed a mile stone, in which the user demographics have drastically changed beyond the point of comparison. Shitsec used to mean "don't do that". If it is now a derogatory term, which compares to a term that dances on being a bannable offense, then it should be made known that insulting security dances on the line of being punishable. Officially, or unofficially, IC or OOC.

    As far as kicking and screaming; it is more likely the people who use the word often; are doing so out of jokes, doing so out of intent to cause greytide, or intent to demoralize and aggravate. I strongly doubt the terms are used seriously in any real context, outside of shorthand, usually by staff. The people who use it are likely to not be very consistent in making an appearance, they probably aren't likely to care, and it is likely to be premeditated to find themselves in such a situation where they can spout off as such. IE; the problem, if it is indeed a problem to such a scale; then there is a troll problem, and not a child problem. Still children, but not the children you seem to imply. Which is probably really important to note, if no one has yet to note it.

    To make that more clear; there are people who value their time, and people who don't. Then there are people who like to waste other peoples time; in this context, grey tide. Grey tide can log on, cause problems, leave, and not break any rules. Equally, so can security, but perhaps that is beside the point. People who are vested and immersed in a round, can have it broken by someone who doesn't care. If that happens once every round, ruining each one, and someone chooses to play for an entire day; they have effectively wasted their entire day, and they are likely to feel that. What did the other person waste? Nothing. They got what they wanted. Others simply don't value their time, and won't care if they have several rounds ruined or not. The motivations are different. Understanding that is kind of important.

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  3. So on one hand, thanks, GB, for the in depth analysis. On the other for a lot of people here; image.png.6e2f8b567e64b7db5d5edc24f8e0042a.png

     

    I'm poking fun at the state of security, and how it'd be easier to remove the whole thing with a higher success rate, than keeping it as is, or trying to improve anything. Generally poking fun at security, security players, and the way security is being handled. 

     

    While serious points are being raised, though; let's break it down.

    7 hours ago, GuiltyBeans said:

    Removing security will in no way improve anything. At that point you would have antags with free reign over the station, especially robust antags, and constant valid hunting. Security would no longer be security, but science would pick up the slack, as well as cargo. You would have scientists with death chems and memes running around hunting antags, with Cargo ordering weapons and armor to do the same. As it was said, it would become a death match. RP would plummet to all time low, as the whole rule of 'Play the role you chose' is just tossed to the wind.

    So, the joke is that antags can already have free reign, and they sometimes do, as well as there is already constant valid hunting. "Security would no longer be security" right, so, if security were removed, right. There would be no security. Which is making fun of the fact that there really isn't security to begin with. That's the joke. Security is so bad; others even have the opportunity or the inkling, to stop their own jobs, to form vigilante mobs. What is more hilarious; they actually have better capability in doing so, than security. Everything you just said; is already happening, so I don't know if you are parodying the situation as I am, or not. Sorry if I ruined the ruse and joke, if so. RP is actually at it's all time low, by the way, as well as "play the role you've chosen". Those are separate topics, though. Those points aren't apart of the joke.

    8 hours ago, GuiltyBeans said:

    As it is we fight against valid hunters because security plays a vital roll. They're a department meant to keep peace and detain threats that pop up on a space station owned by a enormous company. Of course there are issues. Newer players don't know space law as in depth as the veterans and the veterans are so robust that the newer ones generally don't keep up with them, or if they try, get left behind because the robust one goes off on their own while dragging a Beepsky in tow. Shitcurity is a common word tossed around when people get salty as shit about how they are treated by a security officer, 9 time out of 10. Most of the times it's because they are a new player in security trying to learn the ropes. But people get so upset over some minutes of their round that I honestly feel their RP level drops. Why would you honestly get that pissed at an officer? If you aren't doing anything wrong just go with it... Like.. What is it honestly doing to you to cooperate and maybe help the guy arresting you learn? I have noticed, at times, people doing something, such as breaking into the gateway. That IS against space law, and when someone arrests that person for doing it they are slapped with the label of Shitcurity. Because OOCly yeah, fuck, it's not that big a deal. But RP wise... Why? It makes sense for them to arrest someone breaking space law. 

     Dragging a beepsky in tow is the hilarious opposite of robust. Relying on gear, especially in excess, is the opposite of robust. Leaving coworkers behind in dangerous situations isn't robust. As far as shitcurity as a word goes; it used to be used by anyone and everyone. Including security players to other security players. It tests temperament, it's trolling, I guess, used to be used ironically, and almost nearly never used unironically. As far as everything else... People probably value their time a lot more, than those who don't mind. Simple as that, really. Falling back on the shitcurity point; hazing was a good teaching method. If an officer fucks up, and the detainee, fellow officers, command, and the rest of the crew all weigh in on saying "that move/behaviour is/was shitcurity" then lesson is learned a lot quicker, of to not do that again. So, dealing with a pissed off person is part of the learning and teaching process. Moreover; it is natural to range anywhere from mildly upset to stark raving mad when unlawfully/unnecessarily  bothered by authority figures. It isn't something that some people grasp as a concept, until they are in some form of authority, in game or otherwise. Out of character; I imagine more so for the demographics to play this game. That isn't even touching upon the vast sociological and psychological differences that you get in an multinational game. So, to wrap up this bit, it doesn't help anyone learn, not as effectively, anyway, and as far as people getting pissed; the reasons are vast. Individually, you might have to ask what exactly it is that bothers people, in the moment. Beyond that, though; law should be enforced uniformly, so it doesn't cause confusion and upset in those who emulate common behaviours. 

    8 hours ago, GuiltyBeans said:

    There's a lot to go on about here, but I don't want to build a wall for people to read. So basically, Security is important. ERT's are only reliable when admins are able to grant them and even then they are filled with the same players that play security some times, and other rolls. Play your role, don't be a greytide and for god fucking sake, if you get arrested don't be the shitter that starts screaming shitcurity because it takes you out of the round for what, 15 minutes? Sometimes being a nice guy when you get arrested will get your time lowered. I should know, I've done it. 

    I don't know about you, but I value 15 minutes of my life. Most people do, hence why they get so upset about trivial things causing a disruption. Even 5 minutes, will usually be pretty potent. A buddy once asked my why I don't take the toll roads. I said I didn't mind the 10 minutes, and I didn't want to spend the money. He said if he could buy ten minutes of life, he would. Again, that sociological and psychological diversity facet should at least be acknowledged, for better understanding. Maybe for someone who plays several rounds a day, 15, or even 5 minutes every so often isn't a big deal. For others who play a couple rounds a week or month, it might mean more. Or it could go the other way. However you want to look at it. People vary. As far as greytide; I'd imagine those types to either want to be caught, or just want to cause problems and then leave. I don't think they are really the issue. If they are; that should be addressed immediately. As far as being meek and passive to get out of trouble; that is a fair tactic, I'm certain everyone has used it, before. Others aren't like that, and that is equally fair RP. Being horrible to deal with means you probably won't be dealt with very much in the future. I should know; I hate bothering with the meta-cliques that do it all the time. Which to be clear; I was a well known, and well liked HOS player, by antag and loyalist alike. None of this is speaking out of my ass; I'm approaching from the perspective of a clown, security, and command. All angles. I shouldn't have to play the identity card, but there you go. "expert opinion". 

  4. It's boring and useless.

    /thread

    Just kidding. There's more to it than that.

    It's boring for all involved, it's useless as far as being reliable, and it almost always causes way more problems than the department mitigates or is even possible to mitigate, let alone mediate. 

    The department could be removed, and there would only be positives to come out of it; no one will be harassed by shitsec, no more loot pinatas, no more arguing space law with admins, and it will increase RP. And I'm sure there are plenty of other positives.

    There are no negatives; security rarely has a good member, and they usually aren't listened to, anyway, and gets killed by the other members through negligence, ignorance, etc. Security doesn't, or isn't able to enforce the law to begin with, so removing them isn't a problem. There are usually scientists who end up being security, anyway, and that is all that is really needed for any sort of antag deterrent. 

    Any significant need for security could be mitigated with ERT use. Minor needs for departmental discipline could be handled by the heads of each department as well as IA.

    As far as security players go; there are two main groups. Old veteran players, and the ones who are just starting to pick up the ropes. To the new ones; I'd say potentially being hired as some form of security by the HOP might be fun for you, or perhaps as a bouncer at the bar, if you are disappointed at the prospect of no longer having a security department. For the old ones; I'd say that to keep going back to security to try to make security good/fun again is like going back to an ex-girlfriend that does the thing you like, texting you at 3am, saying she wants to meet up, to do that thing you like, only to remember why you broke up in the first place; before she does the thing you like. It would probably be more enjoyable, less stressful, and provides more benefit to the rest of the crew, to move on to a new department. 

    Really, when it comes down to it; there isn't really a need or use for security, nor benefit. It might as well be the new xeno-arch. Except for hiding bodies; it's for being a domineering asshole, and looting noobs as an antag. It would be more fun and less stressful for all, to remove security.

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  5.  

    Ave,

    Many moons ago I began a journey and found myself on many paths. Much seclusion proved valuable beyond words. What I set out to seek, I found. Now, in the midst of the after math, I find myself on the brink of many more journeys to come. I seek new breathe in odd, old, and forgotten places.

     

    Share your spiritual paths if you so choose, or lack thereof.

     

    May inner and outer intuition treat and guide those who grace these words well.

     

  6.  

    Interesting topic, interesting stances.

     

    First, where are you noticing this specifically, and to what degree? Depending on where might have a huge influence on this sort of thing. Do we notice it here, I am doubtful. Swearing and intercourse is not appropriate for everywhere, and especially if it is simply out of nowhere. Anger and manners is largely something everybody is expected to be mindful of. Drugs of any kind are, again, largely based on the audience and in which manner and to what degree the subject is being discussed. Politics in general is something that will always be highly ionized.

     

    I am not certain of what would be considered "Christian Standards or Values", especially within context to this discussion. What you may be observing is political correctness, which is likely another topic entirely. In terms of wanting to be around religious or politically correct people, what bothers you about it, specifically? How might these sorts of people "lynch" others, via the internet in the common sense?

     

    I think a large part of enjoying the game is the diversity of people you may come into contact with. Many I have personally developed any sort of friendship or casual acquaintance with has largely been atheistic, but that doesn't mean much of anything in terms of the topics you bring up. Swearing is simply something most will refrain from as a common occurrence, regardless of values, faith, standards. intercourse, drugs, politics are not common topics to really even get discussed much at all, casually. Anger and manners are extremely specific topics to ever discuss at all, casually or not. I am not familiar with the character of Ned Flanders in depth, but to have the chance to play or even just enjoy the company of such an individual to some extent is something I could find myself enjoying, as it is part of the best thing to happen in the world, meeting people different from ourselves.

     

    However, it is statistical fact that the world is becoming more secular, and christianity as whole has not been expanding for quite some time. In the US, the two largest growing religions are Mormonism and Islam. Worldwide, I don't know the stat off the top of my head, but I think Islam is the world's quickest growing religion. Not quite on topic, but it is worth the mention, as both are not considered to be apart of christianity. However, believe it or not, they are (as much as I would very much enjoy discussing this aspect in depth, I will refrain for now).

     

    This is an interesting dynamic where as we grow more secular, a number of things occur. Most relevant, is that we begin to notice what isn't secular more often. A duality takes shape where society as a whole attempts to maintain tolerance, while intolerance is on the rise.

     

    Personally, not being religious, I can not say much of anything in a sort of defence. However, with secularism becoming more prominent, I personally am not happy to observe much of what I have. Naturally, secularism and religion can not function all that smoothly. Religion dictates practice and behaviours based on morals needed in the past. As secularism becomes more prominent, I'd argue that a noticeable amount of people have begun to lose morals entirely, as seen with the rise of hookup culture, the overall lack of sense of community/unification, and general apathy towards fellow humans. While not a direct response to the lack of religion or growing secularism, values themselves associated with any religion are being lost. Secularism promotes individualism, and focusing on how an individual seeks out a feeling of content versus the need to go to church, for example.

     

    Philosophically, I personally feel this is a large part of a sickness that plagues western society. The focus on the individual has become so large, many people have ceased to function as intended. Love, for example. Humans are not intended to feel extremely high and then extremely low due to "love". This occurs because of how individuals are influenced to think regarding these topics. This is not something I will go into much detail about, as it is largely off topic, but it is a response to how I feel about these "sudden christian values" or lack thereof.

     

    To conclude, what is occurring is simply the next step. The moral codes we used to hold ourselves to, while still prominent, are being challenged. From this, eventually society will be a hybrid of the former moral codes promoting community, the needs of the community, versus secularism promoting the progression of the individual and the needs of the individual over the community.

     

    Interesting topic, I know I may have opened up a few more doors than intended, but I hope you enjoy the food for thought.

     

  7.  

    I am disappoint that the Wendigo is a thing already in ss13, and has probably been butchered from the really cool idea of what it actually is. Oh well.

     

    But now I see, that totally makes way more sense now, wanting an actual snowflake creature as a race, with all things considered. I haven't been on in a really long time, but I have been trying to stay updated

     

    Mechanically animated snowmen that come from a distant planet and have a really in depth culture and is really "cool" and has more mannerisms than . . . snowflakes . . . I guess. A literal snowflake race. They need a really nerdy and long annoying name for full on snowflakey-ness.

     

    This idea is grand. Make it happen. I shall declare myself the king of the snowflake people. No, really, it will be in my flavour text: "In front of you, you see a massively large 9001 foot tall snowflake with all the right curves in all the right places. He has long flowing hair, and has inviting but still steely cold eyes that stare off into the distance, as if he has seen many things in his life .. . He is the king of all the snow people after fighting many snowball fights and losing almost all of his snowflake brothers, you can even still see his battle scars on his perfectly strong snowflake arms. He speaks with a booming voice. Also, he can deadlift the entire station and shoot lasers from his nostrils. He is also invincible. You get the impression that he is the most important person ever, and that he can role play better than anybody ever."

     

  8.  

    *cough* revisit old law/sop drafts? *cough*

    *cough* total station wide SOP revamp? *cough*

     

    Yeah, the new ones from a while ago seemed kind of lame, I could lawyer my way out of anything if I cared enough to, but as HOS, I was extremely limited, I felt. but I kind of haven't played here in 5ever, so . . . .

     

  9.  

    From the title alone, I thought this was going in a far different direction. So, a few tidbits that may be enjoyed:

     

    The Wampa and Wendigo are far different concepts, as far as I really care to know. A wampa, which I will not really look into further than what I saw in the movies, is just a really big animal, not really much more than that. The Wendigo, however, is far more in depth. It is not only a very symbolic creature, it is also dips into spirituality. The wendigo is the fate of those who fall into cannibalism, either by possession, or just simply transformation, depends on what you want to believe. Personally, I think the wendigo would be a really cool concept, but probably not appropriate here, like, at all, in any way.

     

    HOWEVER, I think you may enjoy a few other ideas stemming from these concepts, perhaps. If you are looking for a snowy creature, might I interest you in a bit of a shamanic twist on perhaps what you may have already been thinking? The Yeti, the Abominable Snowman, a shamanic guide. The Yeti is an illusive creature, a shamanic guide, a benevolent and teaching spirit. Some characteristics and lore behind such a concept would be an extremely low number of them, extremely "strong and silent" and otherworldly wise.

     

    If not what you may be looking for, exactly, and you simply just wanted to focus more on the snowy bits, then perhaps I may interest you in frost giants, or ice trolls? I mean, those can simply be looked up, easily. Even still, you can just use the concepts for making up names, or using base ideas.

     

    I had other ideas, I forgot them. Oh well.

     

  10. I never made one of these, and I never intend to really make a proper one. I think it has been long enough to be forgotten by hopefully all but a select few. Greetings, each of you I more than likely have never met before. I have been busy traversing the Gucciverse, and shall remain there for some time.

  11. Month? What kind of mead do you make? I run 2 liters at nearly two weeks, a gallon at a month, month and a half, and that is the shortest mead of the short mead. Do you stop it mid fermentation? But damn, thanks a ton. I am most certainly going to test this out.

  12. Hmmm, why birch sap, just what you use? Birch sap is . . . I'd imagine not the most easy to come by, at least around here. Hmm . . .what abv do you aim for? Do you aim for a strong dry, or more of a mild sweet? I personally very much enjoy my meads strong and dry, aiming for as high of an abv as possible. Hmm . . . This gives me many ideas, thank you very much. I was thinking bird, or deer, but I was never sure how to carry out the sterilization. Where did you come up with the recipe? I scoured the internet and exhausted all of the contacts that I and everybody suggested to me looking for such a recipe, for two or so years.

  13.  

    First session, finally happens. Almost nobody shows up, and those that do, some of them have to peace out early. I show up late, and I have no idea what is going on. GM does some GM voodoo, and puts us in a pocket dimension for a moment to intro my char, and get a good feel for RP and all that between chars. So, Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity

    Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked

    He's so mad, but he won't give up that

    Easy, no

     

    Anyway for real, snap back to reality, my party has killed a few goblins and all that, they are in some form of goblin castle, they need to reach the boss for information or something. They are all incredibly tanky fighters, but they still do the whole jedi mind tricks thing to make it so they don't have to kill everything in sight. They don't know I am a changeling psion, so GM and I are being hooligans over skype chat to do minor thing unnoticed. My party members suggest I try to pass as a goblin, since I am the shortest there, and dragonborns are totally not goblins. I am more than happy to do that. I tell them to go behind a corner or whatever, so I can do my ling power, and assume the form of a fallen goblin. So, I am a goblin, now, and we propose I scout. I come across a floor boss and his patrol goblins. Long story short with that one, I gather as much info as I can, and a team member use some stealth thing, turns invisible, kills three of the goblin guards. A few mind tricks later, goblin boss vaporizes his whole patrol, and we kill the boss, which I again assume the identity of behind a corner or whatever. I, being the floor boss, am to scout ahead. I drag along a fallen comrade for effect. I come across the next set of guards, and we are now in the inner areas of the castle. These guards are like super guards, but not as high up as a floor boss. Long story short on that one, I weave a tale of how all of the other previous floors were stormed by at least 60 soldiers, some of them being invisible, some being demons, and some casting magic. All but one is scared shitless. I suggest we could stand and fight, which we will surely die in moments, as the supposed army is right behind me, or we could simply join these killers, as the obvious leader is of poor quality. All but one casts out there new leader, and awaits to be spared by the supposed army coming to slaughter us. The other turns to tell the boss what has happened, however my party member turns invisible, runs up, and does like a war shout in his face. We now have 5 goblins at our side, 2 of them being elite guards. They have keys, and knowledge of the castle, and let us into some store closet with weapons, potions, and all, which we loot. And that, my dear children, is the end of the story for now. It was a very short session, with my involvement, me being late. I guess they did crazy weird shit like scaring off an entire force of like 60 somehow to actually get into the castle. Also, I am not going to proof read this shit, too lazy, so I might edit it later, maybe. Session 1: successful. they still think I am a bard, just being super shady about being a bard.

     

  14.  

    whenever I play no matter who or what I play as

    fancy-iggy

    because

    im so fancy, you already knnnnooooowwwwww

    im in the fast lane

    from LA to tokyo

    who dat who dat

    Voodoo voodoo

    who dat who dat

    voodoo voodoo

     

    when I am a ling

    gvcci hvcci- back from the dead

     

     

     

    when I am a rev

    clams casino - illest alive

     

     

     

  15.  

    granted, your perception of reality becomes so warped, everything either is eevee, becomes about eevee, or is in someway related to eevee. Now everything is eevee. Eevee is everything. Eevee is eevee. You are eevee. These words are eevee. Your thoughts are eevee. The food you eat is eevee. The very screen you find yourself looking at this very moment is eevee.

     

    I wish for world peace.

     

  16.  

    . . . my . . .my fish . . . my fish wish . . .

     

    Granted, you understand your lack of understanding. You come to terms with not understanding, and settle for such a life.

     

    I wish for a very simple thing. A normal piece printer paper. Blank, nothing on it, invisible or otherwise. Just a normal piece of paper. I think that is about the safest wish I can think of at the moment. Normal size, one piece of paper. Just that alone.

     

  17.  

    Granted. He turns out to be a cannibal. You die of dysen- being eaten alive.

    I wish a wish for fish, a fish wish; fish from a wish. Easily enough fit on my dish, a perfect wish, fish. No more tail swishing, no more rainy fishing, time for fish wishing. Not a wish dish, not a dish fish, a fish wish. How delish, a fish wish on my dish.

     

  18.  

    So my idea was that on a person's Criminal record there is a counter called criminal points. Every person start with 100 points. Every time a crime is commited points get retracted with the amount of points relating to the crime commited (petty theft 10 points, Assault 25, Manslaugter 50 points and so on..). When the counter reaches 0, the person is allowed to be permabrigged. This is an idea to stop repeat offenders and create more fun for the warden and IAA. The normal sentences will still apply, but if the arrest was unlawfull the IAA can make sure points get added to the counter.

     

     

    Once upon a time, there was a youngster by the name of Jguytriple5. His(her?) (meh, who cares?) parents were rebels. "Fuck normal names" they said, and thus that is what their child's name was. All throughout his youth, J was a rambunctious little rebel, just like his parents. Sort of. See, his parents went all out, named their kid a weird name, partied, rioted, did all that shit. J parked in front of fire hydrants, "Fuck the pol- firemen" and littered. "Down with the man. The garbage man. Yeah, pick up my garbage, man." Sometimes, he would put a sticker or two on the sides of buildings "That'll show 'em". Mostly, the cops would just talk aggressively towards J. Sometimes, he'd get a parking ticket. He'd never pay them, though. Eventually, one day in his adult life, still a rebel, but less so in his more mature age, J decided to blow a stop sign. "The man is trying to make me stop, man. Fuck the man. I ain't eva gonna give you up, neva gon' let you down, neva gon' run 'round 'nd desert you. I mean, listen to the man. I ain't eve gon' listen to the man". At that moment, a cop nabbed him. "Well, J, we have a new system in place, looks like you are going away for a loooooooong time, looking at your record". "My record?! What the fuck kind of pig are you???! I can't go to jail!" "Well, son, you should have thought about that before you littered all those times, and stuck a spider man sticker on that drug store all those years ago. Stop breaking the law, asshole. Do not resist arrest". And that, my dear children, was the last anybody ever saw of J. He did indeed get a life sentence. Some say he even went brain dead the moment they stuck him in the cell. Others whisper that he was brain dead long before that, the moment we was put in cuffs. Some are more hopeful, and say he will wake up in a few years to see if he was let out yet, or maybe he will wake up just in time for the mysterious Not-Emergency-Shuttle-Because-I-Don't-Have-A-Witty-Analogy to come and possibly give him a second chance at being out in the open, once more, for but a stitch in time.

    The end.

     

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