Bill Chompski

Legal - I like the snake idea Janitor - Living sponge sounds horrifying, but yes. Cargo - a living cardboard box. It walks around and occasionally puts items on the floor into it. Items can be retrieved by opening the box and moving it away from the items Atmos - landed space carp is a yes Mime - an invisible something (no one knows what) named Pierre. Maint - a cockroach named Jerry. No one knows where it starts. Clown - a brightly coloured hamster/gerbil/mouse that honk like a horn when you squeeze it. Botany - a killer potato/tomato (de-fanged) Chapel - a Lamb. Cuz Religion. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb_of_God Library - a Raven that will occasionally spurt out famous literary lines. Medical - a small tamed blob with a medical red cross on it. Can maybe change color? Engineering - a really dirty monkey in overalls. (Hah, get it, grease monkey?) Security - a really old, really lazy bloodhound. It can track scents from clothes and items to the user/wearing, but super slowly. So slowly it isn't worth it. Occasionally just falls asleep from being tired from being old. I think that's everything.

When you try to hide the corpse of the sociopath that killed three others and is out for your blood, but they get repaired and given their own personal body that they have full control of and you know they know what you tried to do to them, and that they're still out there, somewhere, and you're in a relationship now but you're not sure if the maniac knows that or not so you always look over your shoulder to double check any purple screens, even back home at Luna because they've already strangled you once before.

UPDATE! -More Bill failing to kill the things trying to kill him! -Bill making too many enemies! -Bill being friends with SHODAN! -Bill having sex with more robots! -godammit Bill, you let him move in

Whoa wow this got updated, must be a good idea

In the Alien lore, the males are the facehuggers, the females the Xenos. So...Lamarr is technically a guy. Just sayin'.

lewd update

I love this idea too much to drop it, bump.

"Don't tell the CMO." OK YEAH THIS IS LEGITIMATE

Hah, yeah, papers please actually inspired this like 85%.

Bumping this, cause I think it's nice.

Bill and DUSTY alledegy went at it once DUSTY saved Bill from nukies.

For the smooth, bureaucratic assassin. Essentially, it's a way of lacing a sheet of paper with poison. Perhaps just a small bag or bottle of highly poisonous powder that you can apply to just a piece of paper, and the next person who picks it up with bare hands gets poisoned. Or maybe it could be a special stamp that affixes poison to the paper, doing the same thing. Or maybe even a refillable sleepy pen type thing, where instead of injecting it into others, you write it on paper and the poisonous ink takes effect. I think one application of the paper poison should only last one pick-up, lest someone make death papers that kill everyone. The detective could likely detect poison on it, or traces of it if it had already been used. Maybe on purchase selection one could choose what kind of poison they want, death, sleep, paralyzing, silencing, etc.

Those mime tips are top-notch

You could still do it.

It's canon. Here's the full interview.