Edd
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Posts posted by Edd
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Credit to Stephanov for the MS Paint illustration
This is a story about a handful of nuclear operatives, a nuke and a cyborg. What could possibly go wrong?
Meet me some five months ago: I had only played SS13 for roughly three to five days and I had not ever been an antagonist before, but then RNGesus blessed me and granted me around as an antagonist...
As the most difficult of antagonists too...
At least for me... Now to the story!
I spawn in and I am met by a handful of bald men, already starting to argue about a variety of things. Me being the clueless man I am, I just waltzed around and admired all the shiny things within the Syndicate Outpost: "Oooh, look at those bedsheet! And that bar! Oh, is that an Ion Rifle? Oh my lord, my outfit is sooo coool!"
We gather around at the uplink-thingy-thangy-crystal-givers and take a seat. I take a seat and listen in on the rapid commands given by the leader of the group, on bringing out our uplinks.
I ask:
"What's that?"
"Are you fucking kidding me... Check your backpack!"
"Erm-... What now?"
"Your bag, next to your hands."
"There's nothing there."
"What!? Are you fucking kidding me!?"
"I have no backpack or satchel or bag..."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
...
After this went on for five more minutes, I ahelped the situation and an admin hopped on. He represented the same questions as the bewildered Nuke Ops Leader did, and was left equally dumbfound.
Sooo... Everyone else is getting reeeady, as I am sitting there for... 20 minutes, waiting for the admins as they were going: "How do we spawn this guy an uplink? This has never happened before!".
Eventually I got a bag with an uplink and was given a bunch of cool telecrystals to buy shit with! Yay! We rushed over to the shuttle, geared-up after going through with me how to put the hardsuit helmet on top of the rest of the suit and sat down.
As we were waiting for our shuttle to reach the telecommunications satellite of the station, I went ahead and browsed through what the uplink was offering. My eyes were instantly caught by the option to buy a "Flamethrower", which I did end up buying. We arrived, I was giggling like a school girl due to the thought of going full bonkers on the crew with a gasoline spewing metal tube.
*THUD*
"Okay, let's go!"
*RUNNING INTENSIFIES*
We all slapped our internals on and dove right through the airlock in to the dark, dark space and began our slow journey towards the telecommunications satellite that was somewhere in the middle of the Z-level. Our leader flew ahead, two of us behind him, me and behind me came a guy pulling a SyndiBorg.
*CLANK* said our Magnetic Boots as they attached on to the metal platform before an airlock in leading inside of the telecommunications satellite.
"Let's hack it and get in."
"Gotcha!"
"..."
"...Well? You going to hack it?"
"What? I don't have a toolbox."
"Neither do I."
"I don't have one either."
"What!? How about you?"
"Oh, I have a flamethrower."
"For fucks sake..."
"..."
"...I could go back to the shuttle and fetch o--"
"Fuck it, we're blowing it up. Hand me the Composite C-4."
"...Okay."
A few clicks later and a package of plastic explosives slapped against a red airlock later, we flew back and waited for the boom.
Any second now. Aaany se-- Ah, there we go.
It wasn't just a single composite C-4 charge that exploded. We flew through space back to the airlock from the safe distance we were at and noticed how all of a sudden half the bloody telecommunications satellite entrance was gone (Like, 4x4 tiles). Upon entering, we made another terrible discovery: The engineer inside had died with internals on (If you had already thought about it, then yes: The Station went to red alert within seconds' time).
With the station on full alert we did what seemed like the most logical of things to do at the time: Groaned, whined and burned down telecommunications top half with my flamethrower to disable it.
Our leader starts his work on the calibration of the teleport, the rest of us idlely hovering around the torn apart telecommunications satellite. It didn't take too long for one of us to get bored.
"Herp-a-derp-a-derpaty-derp."
"..."
"..."
"..."
*BANG*
"WHAT THE *BEEP* WHY DID YOU BLOODY SHOOT ME YOU MOOOROOON!?!?"
"OH GOD I AM SO SORRY, I WAS JUST TE-- I DID NOT KNOW THAT THE SPREAD WOULD BE SO WIDE!"
"WHAT IS GOING ON!? ARE WE BEING AMBUSHED!!?!"
There is an old Finnish proverb that goes: "In a group stupidity condenses". That's exactly what happened here.
One of us thought that, the best place to try out his Bulldog Assault Shotgun would be within a room roughly the size of 5x5 tiles. The results were inevitable when the trigger was pulled, and one of us got a few pellets up their behind. Best we could do was nothing, since as far as we knew, we didn't bring any medical equipment.
Few tears and well-placed words later... They dropped their alert status to blue! Which was nice.
Time passes...
** //TELEPORT CALIBRATION COMPLETE// **
"Let's go!"
"Grab the nuke, teleport is ready!"
"Woo!"
"Hooah!"
"LET'S ROCK AND ROOOOLL-- *ZUM*"
...
...
*ZZZZZUM*
"LET'S DO TH-- Oh god."
Our leader was none the wiser either, which we discovered upon going through the teleport.
Four nuclear operatives, a syndicate cyborg and the nuke... All teleported in between the small 1x3 space between the bridge doors... With civilians on the other side... And a security officer...
There was a moment's silence before all hell broke loose and everyone started to scream (both us and the crew members). The security officer began firing disabler beams at us through the glass window and we could not move! Panicing everywhere, yelling and shooting! OH SO MUCH HORROR!
The security officers are on their way, it seems as if all has been lost.... Plottwist!
I as a new player relied on the whacky things I had been told about SS13 and went on with the logic that "Shotgun + Window/Grille assembly = Way out!". And it worked like magic!
I shot us a way out and we opened fire on the crew population in front of the bridge doors, laying waste on that security officer who had been disabler beaming us. With a 'window' of time I had just opened us, I switched over from my Bulldog Shotgun to the flamethrower - made shishkebab out of those previously giggling crew members before their very own eyes.
***SHOOTING AND FLAME THROWING INTENSIFIES***
Bullets whizzed past our heads, crew members pathetically trying to push us over, that one security officer running like a french girl! Then... It all began to end.
The main security force arrived fully equipped with all that armory could grant them. Guns-a-blazin' down the northern portion of the central primary hallway. Our security borg had disappeared somewhere, so we were left outmanned and outgunned by the security officers. Some of us ran, some of us got shot down. I, was shot down to critical.
A vox and a Brig Physician dragged me off in front of cargo, and I plead for them to let me be taken captive! They said "No". As a final resort, having to have overheard something about "Nukie Go Boom When Dead", I commited suicide. Successfully blowing off the right hand of that pesky Brig Physician and the little Vox.
From there on out, I don't know what exactly happened. I went to tell about the round to the people who introduced me to SS13 in the first place, so I wasn't really following how the surviving members of this absolute hilarity emitting group of operatives were doing. We got ourselves a minor victory, since the Captain that was aboard that shift forgot to take the nuclear authentication disk with himself. Only one survivor was left, one. That being the fella who did some aiming practice at the aforementioned satellite.
The End.
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I fixed a few typos, including "Fires" to "Fries" under Microwave Recipes.
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I'd pay money if Phantasmic immortalized the humiliating moment of a few Death Squad operatives who have (literally) fallen victim to the clown's banana peels and then killed by their own hole makin' equipment.
It's always fun watching robust things get robusted by not-so-robust things.
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mmm ok then lets remove price for the docs on the medical supplies and have a vender in the lobby for anyone to buy from.
If people can just buy medical equipment from the medical bay's lobby, what is the point of having medical doctors for other than performing surgery? Oh, and about that, we only have two operating rooms and the Medical Doctor limit is five I believe.
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Is the way you've drawn the revolver inspired by "The Ambassador" from Team Fortress 2?
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You could draw pauldrons by using the tips on this thread, Adr. Lots and lots of pauldrons.
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Books can be coded to have text in them upon spawning, right? I would pressure doing what Usanake said and use the books. At least for now, based on what tigercat said.
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Making it viable in combat being out of the question, we could simply give it a clever description.
"This is a sturdy top-hat - it is a small item. It could probably knock a marble statue's head clean off. Probably."
Edit: Speakimg of statues, here's an idea pulled out of "the hat" (It's terrible, I know). Give it the ability to damage statues. They can already be destroyed with many other items, and throwing a hat aroumd can prove pretty impractical. I'm just all in for a reference.
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Zeke bashes Jonah over the head with the bottle and makes him wear the cultist robes whilst he is out cold?
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Go for it, unless anyone else has something to say.
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Right now it on the same Z level of mining so when you even just mine out a little bit from it, you can get a mining z level mobs like a Goliath in your face.
Isn't that the fun part of it?
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Roscoe McCloud points at the classic EMP grenade
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Alright, thanks for the output. I have nothing other to say, than that I've received some insight and I'm sorry if my comment about "job/administrating" came out as insultive. I tried my best to write the main post without anything that could aggravate or be found unpleasant.
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Admin Key: Fre3bie
Complaint: I was earlier been going on over a PM about how I've been feeling neglected by the staff when it had come to dealing with security officers not following SOP and doing absolutely donkey-like things. People being let off with a pat on the back, after doing round ruining or greatly bothersome things.
I am the warden, Fre3bie is the Head of Security. We go to Code Red due to whatever reason (hard to tell without having access to command frequency) so I run over to the armory thinking, "People have been making complaints in
about the lack of officers currently on, I'm going to arm them". I'm met with HoS blocking my way in to the armory who tells me off. There had been some previous exchange of words over about my warden and his ICly behavior (which frankly is meant to make people uneasy). My warden gets told off, upset about the way he has already been treated that round, zaps the HoS once with a taser after yelling "I quit!".Side Note: People have been getting away under the reasoning "IC issue" for beating up people they've cuffed and brought in by using harm intent.
I run off to security maintenance, going to make my way to the security checkpoint to, well... Do nothing in particular. I hadn't thought as far as what me/my character would do there. I get boinked by Fre3bie, saying something between the lines of "So, you're complaining about SOP and now you broke it yourself?" before freezing me stuck. I feel startled, seeing I only zapped him, I ask if I'm going to get job banned and I was asked to answer the question (take note from here on I do not recall most of the conversation). I explained something about, being tired of people slipping about from things they shouldn't be doing.
This followed a set of words and a conversation I really did not like in the way Fre3bie spoke to me about it, starting from the first sentence (refer to the quoted sentence above). I made it clear at least twice that, I'm not liking the way he is going on about it (I didn't specify why, I just said I'm not liking the way he's handling this, assuming he knows why). He goes on, I say it again, he goes on, I told him to "Shut up and stop with this".
Then I was banned for exactly that, telling him to shut up after many times trying to let him know I'd love it to the fullest of extents if he did not try to handle the situation in such a demeaning way. I never said I am outright going to ignore him and not want to resolve the situation, I just wanted him to stop making me feel demeaned with the way he approached it. It was rude to tell him to shut up, agreeably, but no one wants to be demeaned and ignored.
Here are some things post-ban the main complaint is above and what's below does not directly concern Fre3bie:
I was told "we are not obliged to care, players get to make no demands" by a game admin I spoke to it about over Byond afterwards, thinking he'd agree with me to it. Obviously didn't, leaving me with the thought that I was just told "you can't do anything about this".
I was called thin skinned for not wanting to be demeaned and voicing my dislike of it, yet I was banned for telling someone bluntly to not go ahead with they way they spoke to me despite trying to make it heard I didn't like it at all.
"Putting it bluntly" often comes out like it sounds; blunt. People make a straight-forwarded and rough explanation of a situation or thing at hand in the most sound way possible.
Everyone knows you do this voluntarily. Everyone appreciates you for it. Without a sturdy staff team online games which's servers require one couldn't flourish, but just because it is voluntary should not mean you can handle things in whatever manner you want. Players by the end of the day also keep the server running with their activity on it.
Probably to many current staff members being part of the staff team is the closest thing they've ever had to a job. When I say job, I mean given responsibility over something that by the end of the day adds up to the big picture. You wouldn't behave in a way that might rub people in the wrong way at your workplace.
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That's that then.
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Oh god... why is that a thing... and why do I have a slight urge to draw this Submissive Steve....
Vision this: Submissive Steve surrounded by Vox halflings in maid outfits (just like in the picture!).
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Here is what I mean. Sturdy Top Hat just /cries/ to be made a semi-lethal throwing weapon, to be turned in to an Oddjob reference!
Hand out your opinions.
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Frankly you're making little sense to me. All I know is that beards are cool.
Edit: Here's something that'd flip Adr's socks upside down if it were to be drawn
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I was a Chaplainling during one of my first rounds in the game (in fact it was my first time as a changeling), and here is how I proceeded:
I called the janitor over to my office to sweep up the floors that I claimed were dirty. He came around, I engaged in a casual conversation like the creepy looking person I was with that chaplain's hood on and watched him finish sweeping. He was about to leave, but then I asked if he could clean up the crematorium too. He as a janitor with nothing better to do just nodded and went ahead.
Here is where it gets funny.
As he is sweeping I out of nowhere yell "Hold still!" and passively grab him. He asks "What is it?", with me responding, "There is a bug on your back!". The guy freaks out and starts yelling at me to get it off of him. I explain how it crawled underneath of his backpack and proceed to grab him aggressively, him going along with it without fighting back. Then KABLAM! I started strangling him and he weep'd "Whyyyyy!?" at me, as I whisper "Hush little baby, don't be scared!"
As I began to extract his DNA, the maintenance door and office door opened simultaneously, security rushing in as I am beside the husk. Being the first time as a changeling (and traitor in general) I had no fucking clue that I had to disable the camera and the guy's jumpsuit sensors.
In the end I was given a proper beating and electrocuted.
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Also she's cheating, she listens what you mumble in your sleep.
Isn't Heretic a dude, or did Phantasmic for some odd reason simply draw them as one (quoting that comic where Phantasmic wanted to read the admin chat)?
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Please, no. Vox are one of the best races around, with their unique general characteristics and behavior!
Skree skree!
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Zeke seems much more timid in-character than he is on these drawings.
Is that because Zeke wouldn't fight you?
He avoids getting into fights because he doesn't want anything to happen to his pretty face.
No, but in general, whenever I've seen him.
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Zeke seems much more timid in-character than he is on these drawings.
Poker and chips.
in Suggestions
Posted
We could alternatively just place a secret hidden poker room somewhere aboard the station.
Y'know... For those situations where five people stand up from their chairs around a poker table and commence a Mexican Standoff in an dimly lit room. Possibly over an argument about Donk pockets. Who knows.