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Crazy shift as Detective Thisk Skithasa


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It started just like any other graveyard shift, with me asking the warden for a security belt. I began walking around, inspecting the station, making sure everything was going according to the book when... What do I see? A journalist performing "Maintenance" in front of the vault!

Of course I immediately notified the HoS, and HoP. They approved me to detain the subject and figure out what was going on, The journalist informed me that someone was breaking out of the vault, when *Screeeeeech* the vault doors OPENED! A Tajaran Medic emerged, and tried to disarm me. Luckily, I dodged out of the way, and managed to wrest the stunbaton from my SEC belt, and incapacitated him.

 

We escorted him to Interrogation, and tried to wring some knowledge out of him. When we did, the only information he saw fit to profess was that he "Did it because I can." The nerve of some people. We recovered the Top Secret military documents, and I gave an interview to the reporter on the situation. Half-way through the interview, a Mime broke into the vault and stole the files again! Boy, we never catch breaks on the graveyard shift. The HoS ordered all personnell under his command to capture the mime.

 

The HoP and I went into the main corridor, and looked around, when we saw the mime dart across the hall from one maintenance tunnel to the next! Hyperion and I chased the mime for what seemed like a quarter hour, when we decided to give up. On the way back to my office, i spotted something moving in the shadows of the maintenance tunnel. It was the MIME! I knocked the mime over, and handcuffed them, and escorted them to the brig main interrogations room, and discovered... it was Tina Boer! the Slime woman!

 

Investigation of her person revealed that she had a virus upgrade on her PDA to hack others communications, and she of course would not give up any information, due to being a Mime. we put her in the brig, and I sauntered off to the bar for a quick refill of my flask. No sooner do I sit down, then some punk starts trying to lift my revolver and ID!!! "STOP" I yelled, and they began to pull the trigger. "CLICK" the gun sounded, as the revolver was empty of ammunition. A chase ensued that went to the escape maintenance tunnels, and they began to attack me, so I pulled out my SEClite™ and began to knock them over. When I did, they developed SSD... The nerve... Shortly after, I was wrested from my body, soul torn asunder by a Spiteful god named MactoPerFuror.

 

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Next time just use 'resist'. If you're getting trolled, for instance by being constantly banana slipped by a clown and somebody is stripping you, just resist. Unless you're legit stunned, they can't do anything about it.

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