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Wario Apologist

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  1. Name: 'Cyrano' [Name changed legally as of xx-xx-25xx] Age: 25 Gender: Female Race: Skrell Blood Type: AB+ General Occupational Role(s): Chef, Bartender Biography: Cyrano is an example of a Skrell that has eschewed her own culture for another; in this case human culture. The Skrell now known as Cyrano was born in 2538, on one of Qerrballak's rimworld colonies. Early on in life, she was introduced to human culture through offworld trade. From then on, she spent her days obsessing over human cuisine and chefs, mostly the ones from 500 year old cooking shows. Starting in 2552, she worked entry-level jobs in a variety of restaurants around the colony, eventually earning enough money to leave for greener pastures: Earth. It is there that she learned how to cook real human food, or at least, her own approximation of such. Some time over the course of her studies on Earth, she gained the attention of one of the larger media companies, and starred in her very own cooking show, seen throughout most of SolGov's territories. The first known episode aired sometime around early 2556. Cyrano has gained a small following from this, with the two main reported reasons for watching her being “her unique cultural variations on traditional dishes” and “I don't care about cooking, I just like the anxious little green girl”. NT's morale division has taken notice of this, and has made a deal with (read: bought out) the media company that hired her. Now, she makes occasional guest appearances on various NT facilities all across the galaxy, where her unique personality (read: crippling lack of social skills) comes to the forefront. Surprisingly, her favourite has been the NSS Cyberiad, in the Epsilon Eridani sector. Qualifications: Cyrano is a certified chef, with multiple accolades and awards in this field. Employment Records: 2552-2554: A variety of small restaurants on her home colony. Various jobs are listed, such as Waitress, Assistant Chef, and other low-level positions. 2556 – Present: Entertainment Chef, “Cyrano's Kitchen” on SolNetwork. 2560 – Present: Chef aboard various NT stations, and occasional bartender aboard the same. Security Records: No major incidents reported as of yet. Medical Records: No major medical emergencies have happened so far, but medical personnel are advised to keep an eye on Cyrano's habit of having small amounts of meat “just to see what it is like.” Nothing has arisen from this practice yet, but, as Skrell are herbivores, it may potentially be dangerous. Personnel Photo: Cyrano is a typical example of a Skrell. She is a little shorter than most of her kind, and has a concerned-looking tilt to her eyes, but other than that she is your usual greenish, tentacle-headed girl. Commendations [only to be added by admin]: Reprimands [only to be added by admin]: Other Notes: Despite the scandal in 2558, Cyrano has never had any association with the dubious and lurid “wetskrell.nt” site, apart from, in her words, “maybe checking it out in [her] free time once, but only to see what it was, not for any of, uh, that stuff.”
  2. Name: Jesse Hsu Age: 17 Gender: Male Race: Human Blood Type: B+ General Occupational Role(s): Therapist, Beautician Biography: Jesse was born in 2546 to two spacefaring parents, both working aboard the NDS Inferno, a Nanotrasen facility in the Tau Ceti system. His parents were often too busy working to attend to Jesse, so instead he was usually taken care of by the patrons in the bar. This unorthodox little 'family' he had in the bar instilled a love of space and adventure in him. It is unknown when Jesse started to wear women's clothes, but it doesn't interfere with his job so it is allowed. When Jesse was 15, his parents were reported missing. Personal accounts from Jesse himself, however, show that he didn't particularly care, as his parents weren't around for him anyway. As an underaged orphan aboard a Nanotrasen facility, there weren't exactly many places to drop him off. This led to Jesse gaining employment with NT and sent to remote, out-of-the-way facilities where he wouldn't cause problems. Eventually, he found that his next assignment was the NSS Cyberiad, a research station in the Epsilon Eridani system. Since then, he has worked diligently aboard the Cyberiad in minor stations. A period of a few months is documented where Jesse is reported 'missing'. When asked about this, Jesse has declined to comment, stating only that it was a "personal problem". There are rumours that he had something to do with violent incidents on Luna and Earth in this period of time, but a small, weak boy like him couldn't possibly be implicated in all that... Right? Qualifications: Jesse technically has no formal qualifications, but experience aboard NT stations has ensured his continued employment. Employment Records: 2560-2562: Various NT facilities, most details not specified. Security Records: xx-xx-2562: Turned self in to Security, for, in his words "breaking into the bridge and then my friend [NAME REDACTED] punched the captain and then I-". No evidence could be found of this, and Jesse was crying too much to be of any use. According to HoS [NAME REDACTED], it took 4 minutes 26 seconds of reassurance that he had done nothing wrong to calm Jesse down, alongside one of the lollipops from Medbay. Medical Records: Left hand and eyes have been replaced with prosthetic replacements. No record exists of how these parts were lost, nor of the surgeon who replaced them. When questioned on this, Jesse has divulged that the eye replacement was a voluntary procedure, and that the hand was a result of an emergency upon the NDS Inferno. Personnel Photo: The photo seems to have been taken outside of an official context. Jesse has a smirk on his face, and his hand is outreached towards the camera. The background is that of a barbershop, seemingly the one aboard the Cyberiad. Jesse, in this photo, is wearing a black cardigan, white dress shirt with a red tie, and a red beret. The photo seems to be recent, judging from the hairstyle and pink cybernetic eyes. Commendations [only to be added by admin]: Reprimands [only to be added by admin]: Other Notes: Jesse is, in fact, male. The appearance might fool people, but Jesse is firmly and resolutely male. Interviews with Jesse have confirmed this, Jesse himself has confirmed this to various station crew. It can be safely assumed that Jesse is, without a doubt, male.
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