Ian

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NON-HUMAN

Superiors: None
Difficulty: Easy
Guides: Not defined
Access: None
Duties: Be the corgi that the station deserves.


Welcome to the most ignored yet most bark-tacular controllable god-dog this station can offer. Ian is a Corgi that spawns in the Head of Personals office, he is commonly seen walking in circles, barking and jumping down the disposals. Ian can wear a variety of fashionable hats (which also change his name) and other various accessories.

Thug Dog Life

  • Bark
  • Pray that Lisa is mail-ordered
  • Fuck with the HoP
  • Slide down Disposals
  • Beg the HoP to let you out of his office and cause chaos

Dog Objectives

As a loyal superior corgi, you should always know that the people around you WISH they could be you, use this to your advantage,

Escaping prison HoPs Office
Yap at the HoP until he either kills you or finally obeys and lets you out. Don't worry, he still loves you.

Fuck around with the Crew
You see that severely injured crewmember? He's your new bone, drag him around and see how long until you end up in the disposals or in the Kitchen.

Be crowned Captain Ian
Follow the Captain around, stare at his hat and hope he crowns you the stations new captain

Escape
Arguably the hardest doggy objective known to dog-kind, getting on the escape shuttle and successfully leaving. You will most likely die.

Lore

Ian is a full-grown Corgi, before Earth was turned into a wasteland by various world wars and "industrial revolutions" a small dog named "Ian" was the original founder of NanoTrasens pet. Ian and this Founder whose name has been locked away were dear friends, once Ian was growing old and closing in on death this founder decided to have Ians genetic data recorded onto thousands of secure disks and had them stored on every single station and vessel NanoTrasen owned so every Captain and every Crew Member would get to experience the love of this Corgi. His name will live on for centuries to come.

The "Original" Ian

File:Iancaptain.png Data shows that this was the "original" Ian, this is the only known image of Ian.