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FriikkiM

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Posts posted by FriikkiM

  1.  

    13.3.2014, the Day of Doink.

    This is a diary of sorts, detailing my experiences playing Clown on this server - and judging from the reactions I get, I feel I have been rather successful so far.

     

    Observation one: The best tool a clown can have is a spray bottle. Not only is it hilarious, it is also most likely the single deadliest weapon in the entire game when used properly. A team of Nuke Ops found this out the hard way. Lessons learned : get those no-slip shoes.

     

    Observation two: Newspapers are large enough to hide the sprite of a banana peel entirely. A loaded beartrap is only barely visible. Both of these things are hilarious if walked into.

     

    Observation three: "Preparing" maintenance doors - ie. cutting the AI control wire - well in advance makes it a nightmare for that Artificial Seriousness to hamper your sacred work.

     

    Observation four: taking off your squeaky shoes every now and then makes for a really sneaky trick. Most people track a clown by sound.

     

    Closing statement: "Hello kids! Its your favorite honkity-doinkety-Doink the Clo~own!"

     

  2. Speaking of loopholes: I have several times been hit with a hacked law worded like "_____ is the only human/member of the crew, kill all nonhumans/noncrew". The way this law has been worded basically forces me to prioritize the killing over everything else - including protecting the sole human/crewmember, since a hacked law is place above 1 in priority.

  3.  

    The point of the game is to do insane shit in 2d spess, and staying alive is the first step towards completing that.

     

    You do not reach the point where you can singlehandedly turn any round into the stuff of legends by being laughably unrobust and dying to some random traitor.

     

  4. Most antagonists need at least clear line of sight and/or coming close to you to do their dirty stuff. There is literally no gameplay reason to ever allow anyone closer than 3 steps without something solid inbetween. It's plain suicidal stupidity, and that is the difference between successful assassination objectives and a mocking red "Failed!".

  5. PDA bombs are a shitty thing that can be easily prevented. Messenger off, you are walking with a potential bomb and stun in your pocket, ready to go off at any time. Its suicide. There is no logical reason to keep it on except when needed. Doubly so when traitor - worst case scenario, you lose your uplink without being able to do shit at all.

  6.  

    Welcome aboard SS13. So youve been around a few rounds, burned yourself to death on a lightbulb a few times, and likely have ended up parapen C4'd too if youre lucky.

     

    People die, entire departments explode, yet somehow, people stay alive. How the hell do they do it? Time to write a guide for the common pubbie, then.

     

    So how DO you actually spot who is obviously out to get you? First of all, get rid of weaknesses. That PDA of yours? It has a messenger option. That can be used to PDA bomb you. Solution: turn messenger off. Burst communication only, if absolutely necessary. You do not want to be hit by a PDA bomb at the wrong moment.

     

    Second. There are very few good reasons to let another player stand directly next to you - especially in an area without other people in immediate line of sight. Most of the time, coming up next to someone is a straight out tell of an upcoming parapenning or at the very least stunprodding. 90% of deaths could be avoided by simply making sure not to stand too close to people in hidden away places.

     

    Third. Tools. Know where to get tools, how to apply them, and how to quickly, when needed, force open doors. All you need to know are the bolt wire, AI control wire, and one of the power wires. Making a note of these early on into any given round is a very good survival tactic.

     

    Most importantly : Trust. The ultimate weakness, and one to be exploited when someone is silly enough to exhibit signs of it. There are very few jobs in the game that actually require assistance from another person, and if someone insists on helping you, beware. Nine times out of ten its a plot that will end with you parapen C4'd or eaten by a changeling.

     

    Speaking of changelings - with range extension, they can sting three squares away. Beware the tiny pricks.

     

    Dealing with the AI - get tools, know how to use them. Blow borgs at first clear sign of trouble. An Ai that has its first borg go Sec is usually planning something. Apart from murdering, there is really no reason to pick something else than Engieborg.

     

    Good luck. Stay alive.

     

  7.  

    Malf AI? There is a simple method that hasnt failed me in over a year.

    Malf AI gets all these nice modules, right? What a toolbox to choose from, and plan your strategy accordingly.

     

    Fuck no. Wrong.

     

    On the list, there is exactly one module that is worth anything - Machine Overload. Grab a full load of that - six buys, gets you twelve uses. This should be enough to take down any resistance to your plans - which should be a direct, immediate approach to destroy everything and everyone opposing you. Do not wait for the crew to start up the Singularity. If you have a borg, give it the hacked module via the RDs cyborg control. Have your borg(s) take out some key personnel - one murdering the captain and possibly the CE, then withdraw and guard Atmos while you fry every fleshbag on the station. Your opening move is, naturally, using machine overload to eradicate the Chem dispensers, the Cargo consoles, any pump of your choosing in the Toxins burn chamber, and any circuit printers. This should leave you with plenty of uses of overload to deal with any remaining crew. Thats it. Be competent enough to pull this off, and enjoy an unbroken winstreak as a Malf forever.

     

  8.  

    Furthermore, the guy (Psyentific) explained his own actions like that :

    If I want to beat the shit out of you for being a spiteful, annoying prick, I can and will.

     

     

    If you are a spiteful and annoying prick ingame, death is too good for you anyway.

     

  9.  

    NTXUb, you miss the point entirely. From what I see, the situation escalated. The victim was asked, relatively politely at first, only to answer like an utter douchebag. Reading through what happened, it doesnt sound like murder at all to me. Assisted suicide, if even that. You were given something like a million chances to explain yourself, but no, you just HAD to go all the way.

     

    Yes, it is unfortunate you got removed from the round. Sometimes things spiral out of control, and you really, really need to suck it up as a learning experience. Even the best of us get dunked sometimes, and we all know that in case of cyborgization you WOULD, in fact, have made a beeline for the blueshield and removed them from the round. Try to deny it and youll be met with nothing but laughter.

     

    The sad part is that you dont seem to see the big picture, and how that event _made for a good story_. Your eventual killer even took the time to talk with you during the whole process, offering you fair chances, and all YOU did was scream for a lawyer and spit insults, before and after death, instead of just calmly explaining yourself. Instead you chose to leave the person no other alternative but consider you a likely future threat to not only herself, but via proxy to the heads of staff her job was to protect. The rest.. is history.

     

    TL;DR Grow a pair, relax, and laugh about it.

     

  10.  

    Why hello there. You folks don't know me, YET. You could call my arrival something of an inevitability once a few other conditions have been met.

    I am that which follows in the wake of walking sighing corpses and swearing guntoting cigarsmoking quartermasters.

    I am the reason you say "holy shit what is this lag". I am the reason you scream "AI PLEASE I CANNOT BREATHE FIRE".

    I am the reason some of these earlier statements will trigger PTSD in a select few spessmen.

     

    In other words, Im here to both have fun, and share the fun with others. Names to look out for are the lovely AI, TARTAROS* and her fun way of running a station, the lovable extended Mordhauser family of various space lunatics, psychopaths, mad scientists, and the occasional cannibals.

    A certain mysterious lawyer-type fellow has also been seen around, say hello to Mr Cypher if you meet him, and please, DO call him "Louis". And sign one of those contracts he is all too happy to wave around.

     

    In other words, I love the insanity that SS13 has to offer, and see it as my holy mission to share it unto others, like I was taught to do a lifetime ago in another place, on another server.

    *Also available in adorable, harmless pAI form!

     

    johndoe%20copy.jpg

    John Doe contemplates his choices in life on top of his ta- I mean on top of a filthy syndicate agent who got what was coming to him.

     

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