[Random Borer Idea Dump (Suggestions Encouraged!)]

just steal their mechanics fr Vg

[My thoughts on PR #17918 - Replaces Free Guns From Sci With Parts Kits]

crafting takes 20 seconds, reduce crafting time to 1 second, and remove the weapon lockboxes because they arent weapons per say

[Blood Brothers!]

everybody thinks that moving stuff to traitor uplinks is valid balancing, its not, we have more than a dozen antagonists, we shouldnt be only one cam access this.

with the nerfs to syringe guns, blood brothers are now so cripppingly weak that even metafriending is a stronger antagonist than them, im certain whoever made that pr is out for more weapons to nerf, making blood brothers so horrficly weak, all we can say is stop stop he is already dead

[Traitor item stereotypes job specific.]

Job specific 

Ambrosia Cruciatus: Your inexperienced in botany because you can get bath salts from omega weed, and better poisons from deathberries.

Briefcase full of bees: You don't take traitor seriously, or want to assassinate somebody in style 

Safety scissors: Noob bait, just use an energy dagger, NOBODY actually roleplays with you.

Boozy shotgun shells: Before the shotgun nerf, If you bought this, you were a baldie, Because buckshot and slugs are so much better, with the removal however, I wouldn't blame you for using them, still bro, just make improvised shotgun shells.

Poison bottle: Crutch, Just steal a chemdispenser.

Voodoo doll: You buy this thinking your going to do a cool gimmick with it on somebody, but can never find the item to activate it, so you cry.

His grace: You seethe in anger it's hijack only

Missionary starter kit: You love creating a mindslave army, then the 10 minute timer runs out and WHOOPS YOUR DEAD.

Chef's excellent sauce: You don't use this because if you poison food with it and hope your target eats it but another person eats it and dies instead, You get permabanned, So banbait .

Meat cleaver: More compact version of the syndicate chainsaw, with less damage, You like melee combat, but get owned by the disarm.

Syndicate donk pockets: Really solid utility, It's a shame because  they are job restricted, on the other hand you have THAT guy who thinks that having an adrenal implant/ Eating the donk pockets makes him god, and he tries to 1v11 sec and dies.

Pickpocket's Gloves: You Like Arma Being comitting crimes, so you roll assistant and follow in their footsteps, only to be lynched by a validhunting assistant with a stunprod.

Clown acrobatic shoes: Discount jump boots:

Banana Grenade: You like being lynch mobbed

Trick Revolver: All im saying, is THERE's a reason this item is 1tc, because ALMOST nobody fall for it except the most bald of validhunters, and since this is job exclusive, the moment they see you drop it, they instantly know whats up.

Power gloves: Nobody really uses these outside of gimmicks or if your bald: Since mag dumping with a stechkin is much easier, and the cost is too high/

Proximity mine: You try to trap the area where your target is, but whoops, a non-target walks by and hey! Access denied, you or another person using this computer or connection is banned from playing here!

Radiation analyzer: The person using this is smart, they know when to use and conceal it, to use it to soften someone up before a fight, or to cripple an enemy with hard to heal radiation before retreating.

Viral injector: Nobody uses this outside of hijack, because spreading deadly viruses without hijack objective gets you banned, Even then, people instantly know whats up unless you invest a lot of points into stealth

Stimulants: Same stereotype applies to donk pockets and adrenal implants: Think your god but get owned by lasers.

Syndicate MMI: Just use an emag.

E20: Nobody uses this for sabotaging a DND game, because if you do.. Non-target get's killed=Ban

Telegun: Extremely deadly in the right hands, teleport people into deep space or lava.

Contoriontist  jumpsuit: Best paired with a storage implant to stash your stolen high risk items, strong if you know what to do.

Energised fire axe: Stunbaton with 30 damage, but bulky, best you get a bag of holding before buying this item

Guide to advanced mimery: Strong abilties, But long cooldowns, best used in hit-and-run plays, Great for giving to mindslaves/ Other traitors, Because the books dont degrade when read.

Shotgun cane and assasination shells: Don't use this, the buckshot inside has - armor penetration.

Feral cat grenade: Useless similar to minibombs because Non-target gets killed=ban

Poison pen: Nobody uses paperwork, better suited for curators.

Kinetic accelerator pressure mod: Solid option, 40 explosive damage, if both bought, Just pop a cooldown mod in and you got yourself a reliable weapon, that's really only useful for close range options, but 40 damage is NOTHING to be trifled with, best used as an opener attack, and since they are slowed down, finish off with more shots, or another weapon of your choosing.

[Blood Brothers!]

Just buff blood brother's playtime to 200 hours, no newbie problems there

[Blood Brothers!]

I will welcome them, but after these changes:
 

Halt, any and ALL crew sided balance nerf changes, because these are all attempts to nerf blood brothers

Grant them radio implants, these implants can NEVER be removed, only admins can remove them.

Give general combat advantages when next to eachother, slightly higher punch damage, longer stuns, longer disarms, higher chance to disarm/Push. Small and subtle 

[is YOUR ss13 server infested with metafriends? Then read this quick guide!]

Make nitroglycern and clf3 dental implant pills

Make a maxcap

Stunprod and try to kidnap a well known static, Allow them time to scream on the radio so people will try murder you.

When people start swarming you, Detonate the maxcap, or use the pills implanted, to violently murder all metafriends

However if your unable to blow the maxcap, the pills are  failsafe

Bestmannn's Holy jolly plans, totally not self antagging/Breaking the rules *tm* 

Bestmannn's Holly Jolly plans are not responsible for you using this to blow massive portions of the station up, and this was written as a joke

[Ionward's Botany Tier Guide]

I ususally can make kudzu, But i just can't be bothered to, same with A, I CAN do it, just cant be bothered

[Recommended amount of healing items to bring for megafauna]

I keep dying because i run out of healing supplies when fighting megafauna, I want to know what amount of pens, patches, and leigon cores you use.

 

Also megafauna and goliaths cause internal bleeding? Is lavaland balanced around having a pocket medic 24/7?

[A (Joke) Guide to staying alive while playing the game]

Hey you, are you unrobust? Is the number of admins online limiting your combat capability?

I keep dying without an aheal every 0.5 seconds, this is unbalanced, paradise station is dead.

well fear not, Because im about to teach you HOW 2 STAY ALIVE.

First things first, turn off those focking suit sensors!!

But what if i diee???

Listen, traitors with crew monitors, And Malf AI can track and kill you, so turn them off, and if those traitors get an advanced pinpointer, then go off station or hide in a locker till the shuttle gets called

BUT WAHHH ITS BORING

tough luck, your either bored or dead.

You dont want anybody to be on the shuttle, as they could be ANTAGS, so toss a hellfoam grenade or kill everybody on shuttle first before boarding, Now you are totally safe! or just hellfoam it

[MAINTAINERS HATE HIM, SEE HOW HE FIXES GAME BALANCE WITH 1 SIMPLE TRICK]

Guy steals something: FAIL RP FAIL RP FAIL RP

 

Dont refer to self antaggers as self antaggers: RDM RDM RDM RDM RDM

[MAINTAINERS HATE HIM, SEE HOW HE FIXES GAME BALANCE WITH 1 SIMPLE TRICK]

Cant balance game if there is no game, just delete the servers ask aa7 to fix balance issues by pouring water on da servers

 

or we can go like bay 13 and make sure everybody has literally 0 skills for completely annoying and agonising gameplay

 

weapons have a 25% fail chance, attacking you instead

[ADMINS HATE HIM, SEE HOW HE SOLVES GREYTIDING WITH 1 SIMPLE SOLOUTION]

Fuck, i forgot to mention that you need a minimum of 30 characters to say something in game, same with emotes, that also need to be MANUALLY approved by admins for you to speak/emote

[Things We Hate to Think About: "Advanced Rules and Crewsimov" In what order? Who knows!]

the advanced rules seem to make the ai too safe and validhunty 

[ADMINS HATE HIM, SEE HOW HE SOLVES GREYTIDING WITH 1 SIMPLE SOLOUTION]

remove insulated gloves, remove the INSULATED trait

 

But wait! what about tools????

 

You need to swipe an id card with captain office identifcation to allow the specific tool to actually function for 3 seconds, then you have to swipe again\

 

BUHH BUHH GREYTIDERS CAN GO USE AUTOLATHE

 

lock autolathe to bridge access.

 

WHAT ABOUT RCDSSS???

Remove RCDs, make doors, walls indesctruable, remove thermite, move to traitor uplink for 100 tc