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Nanotrasen-brand Specialty Soft Drinks


FalseIncarnate

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Thirsty? Feeling bored with your normal selection of bland Space Cola and Dr. Gibb? Well prepare your tastebuds for the newest line of Nanotrasen consumer products! With a wide variety of flavors to choose from, you'll wonder how you got by with those OTHER drinks for all this time!

 

Okay, so bit of background on this first:

When we ported Goonchem, we BRIEFLY also included some drinks that we then removed due to concerns about permission for them to have been included in the port. These drinks were things like the Grones Soda line and Lime Aid (reference: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=4385 ), some of which had multiple versions.

 

Now, for those of you who may not know, the Grones Soda is a bit of a reference / parody of the real life brand Jones Soda, which is a brand of soft drinks in the US and Canada that has some interesting flavors and flavor names like "Turkey and Gravy", "Poutine Soda", "Road Kill Soda", and "Nyan Cat Soda".

 

 

With that aside, onwards to the actual suggestion.

 

So, what if Nanotrasen made a line of soft drinks in the style of Jones Soda?

 

Imagine for a moment a variety of drinks, each a different flavor and perhaps a different color. Each of these drinks would have a name that is a reference back to Paradise as a community, and some of the major events and features that have helped our community define itself or provided excellent stories. Further, each of these drinks would be able to be made on station with the right ingredients, as well as from a new vending machine which stocks randomly selected flavors each shift.

 

Pretty fun sounding, right? Well, this is where YOU come in.

 

I want your ideas for this line of beverages!

 

That's right, this is something I'd like to add, and want to involve the community in nearly all the way! The reason is quite simply two parts:

1. I'm not always that great at coming up with names.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY:

2. This is a community-referencing suggestion, and so it's only natural that the community be part of it!

 

So here's a few ideas I came up with, to give you some sense of what I mean with the whole reference stuff.

 

Name: Grape Granade

Flavor: Grape

Description: "Exploding with grape flavor and a favorite among ERT members system-wide."

Reference to: the story of john the ERT, and all the seemingly brain-damaged ERT members before him.

 

Name: Paradise Punch

Flavor: Fruit Punch

Description: "Tastes just how you'd think Paradise would if you could bottle it."

Reference to: Paradise Station (I really hope I didn't need to explain that one)

 

Name: Blackeye Brew

Flavor: Root beer

Description: "Creamy, smooth flavor, just like the bald heads of the masses. Supposedly aged for 30 years."

Reference to: Greytide, Bald black-eyed assistants, New players

 

Name: Apple-pocalypse

Flavor: Apple

Description: "If doomsday came in fruit form, it'd probably be apples."

Reference to: The apple-pocalypse (when the server crashed because a certain botanist grew too many apples)

 

Name: Berry Banned

Flavor: Berry

Description: "Reason for ban: Excessive Flavor."

Reference to: Admins, Banned players

 

Name: Melan Melon or MIDI Melon

Flavor: Melon

Description: Tastes Swedish... You also can't get Brodyquest out of your head.

Reference to: Melandor0 (the host of Paradise), Admin MIDI spam

 

So, with those examples as a bit of a style guide, I'd like to encourage everyone to post their own suggestions! However, I have some rules I expect all suggestions to obey:

1. ABSOLUTELY NO REFERENCES TO CHARACTERS BY NAME. This is meant to be references to the community, well-known events, and the server as a whole. If your suggestion refers to a character by name, it will not be considered.

2. AVOID REFERENCING SINGLE CHARACTERS. People come and go, so referencing a specific character is highly discouraged. Moreover, most characters don't have the same level of impact on the server's culture and history as you might think, so try and avoid the urge to make a drink referencing a single person like Robin Rainwater. Exceptions can be made depending on various conditions, but should still be avoided when possible.

3. AVOID REFERENCING SMALL / PERSONAL EVENTS. While you might remember that time you slipped the clown and threw his bike horn into the singularity, it's rather unlikely the community as a whole does. Try and select events that impacted the server's culture (the stories section of the forums has some good content!) and are generally more well-remembered.

4. LIMIT SUGGESTIONS TO PARADISE STATION AND GENERAL SS13 CONTENT. A reference to something that is part of TG's server culture won't make much sense here, nor would a reference to that episode of Family Guy you just watched. Keep the references relevant to this game and this server.

 

With that in mind, let's hear your suggestions!

 

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Singuloth Smoothie - "Just one drink and you'll be craving more. **WARNING DRINK IN MODERATION**

 

Malpractice Malt - "For when your pretty sure medical insurance won't cover this"

 

Sparking Baton - "There is no such thing as excessive flavor or force."

 

CryoTea - "A nice chilled tea for when you feel like being held in stasis"

 

Brief Booster - "Single shot of energy, for when you really need to go" *110% GUARANTEE NOT TO CONTAIN CRYSTAL METH

 

Ambrosia of Olympus - "The more you drink, the more you swear the colors on the can are moving"

 

Plasma Punch - "Nerd Fuel with explosive results" *WARNING. DO NOT HEAT AND EXPOSE TO OXYGEN

 

Nitros Voxka - An energy drink mixed with vodka. "NITROS INFUSED FOR MAXIMUM FUN"

 

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84 Flavor Explosion

A barrage of flavorful explosions that you just can't forget.

Reference to, during the early days of Para, when Dave made a size 84 explosion that many swore to never forget.

 

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We should totally use goonchem for some of these. Include some fun chemical combinations.

 

Also, my dumb, 15-minute PDN interpretation.

 

yX1NpI0.png

 

 

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We should totally use goonchem for some of these. Include some fun chemical combinations.

 

Also, my dumb, 15-minute PDN interpretation.

 

yX1NpI0.png

 

 

These would definitely contain / be made with goon chems in addition to things such as juice and water. Recipes will vary depending on flavor, obviously.

 

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Name: Cyberiad Cola

Flavor: Cola

Description: "A locally made cola to compete with the Space Cola Company"

Reference to: NSS Cyberiad

 

Name: Whackaclown Water

Flavor: N/a

Description: "This Water company's iconic mascotte features a clown being beaten up"

Reference to: Clowns, shenanigans

 

Name: Lawyer Latte

Flavor: Coffee & milk

Description: "Nobody has an OBJECTION to this flavour"

Reference to: Phoenix Wright (video game), laywer

 

Name: Borer Buster

Flavor: Sugar water

Description: "This drink was originally prescription only, but then people realised that sugar induced water is hardly grounds for needing a doctor's note."

Reference to: Cortical Borer

 

Name: Nifty Nosferatu

Flavor: Tomato juice, iron supplements and a hint of lemon

Description: "The can features a vampire sucking on someone's neck."

Reference to: Vampires

 

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Singularity Soda - "Tastes so good it almost pulls you in."

 

E-N Espresso - "Warning: May contain electrical components."

 

Bureaucracy Bliss - "Sponsored by the HoP office."

 

Toolbox Tango - "Tastes just like a toolbox to the face!"

 

Comdom Cola - "Just as tasty as it sounds."

 

Boffin Brew - "Developed by R&D, for R&D."

 

Meteor Malt - "Soft drinks have been detected on collision course with the station."

 

Robust Cherry - "Hopefully no one realizes it's just cherry flavoured Robust Harvest."

 

Station Hydration - "Providing sensation and inspiration to the corporation population since it's foundation. (Beware of mutation.)"

 

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Choco splosion - "its like you feel the chocolate bars form in your mouth"

flavor: chocolate.

Referencing: the self replicating chocolate, and after I made a few the spree of people creating chocolate bombs

 

one man army - "you're the one"

flavor: vodka

referencing: basically every round where all but one of the nukeops are new to the gamemode

(Should be heavy on the alchohol)

 

Dramatic wolf - "you'll turn into a right diva when you drink it."

flavor: salty (get it)

remember the vulpkanin reddit drama. Yes.

 

Unhelpfull brother - "so alchoholic you will feel like someone else is in control."

Flavor: probably a multitude of alchoholic beverages.

referencing: I got banned but my brother did it

 

Panda slam - "thinking about not drinking this drink uncovers a deep fear in you for some reason"

Flavor: cheese and ambrosia

referencing:... AHEM *cough*

 

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Panda slam - "thinking about not drinking this drink uncovers a deep fear in you for some reason"

Flavor: cheese and ambrosia

referencing:... AHEM *cough*

 

Damn space pandas.... *grumble*

 

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Ian-Bru - "It'll drive you barking mad for another"

Flavour - Slightly fruity with an extract of ginger, followed by a metallic after-taste

Referencing - Everyone's preferred little corgi, Ian and Irn-Bru

Suggested ingredients - Corgi blood (for Iron), Space Cola (for Fruity) and wodka (for punch), (we don't have ginger, and nothing that tastes similar to it on the station)

 

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Ian-Bru - "It'll drive you barking mad for another"

Flavour - Slightly fruity with an extract of ginger, followed by a metallic after-taste

Referencing - Everyone's preferred little corgi, Ian and Irn-Bru

Suggested ingredients - Corgi blood (for Iron), Space Cola (for Fruity) and wodka (for punch), (we don't have ginger, and nothing that tastes similar to it on the station)

Simply amazing.

 

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Xeno Colada - "Chestbursting with flavour"

Flavour - Coconut , Pineapple and Battery Acid

Referencing - Xenomorphs acidic blood (thankfully not on the station)

Suggested ingredients - Cream, Fruit juice, Rum and Sulphuric Acid

 

Mechs On The Beach - "It's like one of my Japanese animes"

Flavour - Watermelon and grape, with a slight oily tone.

Referencing - Robotics Department. Metal gear Solid, Generic anime holiday on the beach

Suggested ingredients - watermelon Juice, Wodka, grape juice, welding fuel

 

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Atmos-atmos sauce "Hotter than a plasma tank to the distro"

Flavour- Spicy and bitter, like rum with mixed with James Baxter's, David Buck's and Dank Droid's tears.

ingredients: Rum, plasma and Gin.

Referencing: the fury of most atmos techs at the culprits of atmos disasters.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

 

Grog - One part sour, two parts sweet, three parts strong, four parts weak.

Flavour - Spices, Rum and Lime

Ingredients - 1 part lime juice, 2 parts sugar, 3 parts rum, 4 parts water.

referencing - It's actual grog, perfect for any navy since the age of sail.

 

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