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Very brief recap of this week's events:

 

We entered the third layer of hell and spent the night in the local inn (owned by Daddy Draven). After a bit of shopping and restocking, we set out to face our biggest battle yet: A multiple boss fight.

 

Bosses:

Octum

A chess set (well, half of one)

Looking Glass Knight

Vorkken

Card Knight

The World

and....

Shia Labeouf.

 

The following antics are not necessarily in chronological order.

 

Much fighting was to be had, with Sonic briefly dying before coming back through a magic ring or something.

 

Prometheus (played by CraziestRed) nearly was smeared across the battlefield after Vorkken blasted him with UNITE: GUN, but luckily was saved by Aerma and left at 1 health (Aerma was left at 2). Prometheus then promptly ran away to get smeared another day (had to go for RL reasons).

 

Bitey killed Card Knight with a solid 64 damage critical bullet to the face, then looted the body for his magical deck of combat cards. Bitey then proceeded to go maximum-bullshit and wiped out about half the battlefield with a lucky draw, leaving Vorkken largely toothless without his minions.

 

Kagura suplexed The World onto Shia Labeouf, who amazing only took 7 damage from having the planet earth slammed onto him. Celebrities get all the special treatment apparently. Kagura then gained the hatred of every environmentalist ever by starting forest fires on The World with a flaming punch, then punching a continent so hard that it killed The World. 6 billion lives were lost on Earth. Kagura then slammed Shia Labeouf's head into the ground, killing him and finally silencing his motivational shouts.

 

Bitey ended up putting Vorkken down for good before turning his attention to Looking Glass Knight. Kagura and Sadaharu dealt some solid damage to LGK, but Bitey ultimately got the kill with a well placed shot.

 

Octum fired a laser for his only true contribution to the battle aside from summoning a bunch of Dark Lore mooks which were largely wiped out in bulk as Vorkken would use them with his UNITE abilities. Octum killed a few enemies, and did some minor damage to the party with his laser, and has otherwise sat contentedly at the rear of the battle the entire fight.

 

Bitey declared "CHECK!" on the King of the Chess Set before greatly weakening it. Amazingly, the King did not surrender after Bitey informed him of "Mate in one move." Kagura then finished the job with a single attack, proving Bitey's tactical assessment correct.

 

With only Octum left, the party gained a rare mid-battle level (and the full heal that comes with the new level), bringing the party to level 7. Next week: Octum is going to die.

 

No party members were killed in the making of this session. Many mooks were harmed and killed during the making of this session.

 

Boss Kill Count:

Bitey: 3 (Card Knight, Vorkken, Looking Glass Knight)

Kagura: 3 (The World, Shia Labeouf, Chess Set)

Everyone else: 0 (Just assists.)

 

Bosses still alive: 1 (Octum)

 

We are also still accepting new players! Contact Earthdivine or NoX for info and to join up!

 

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Guys contact me on skype at noxmodel001 (or one of the other players), and ask to be added to the group chat. We can include you for this fight as well, will help get you some training in.

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False, you forgot to mention how Kagura got hit by the moon a few times, and suffered burns because she had to enter the atmosphere every time she wanted to punch The Earth, until she realized that she could set her fists on fire before trying to punch and thus not be burned.

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False, you forgot to mention how Kagura got hit by the moon a few times, and suffered burns because she had to enter the atmosphere every time she wanted to punch The Earth, until she realized that she could set her fists on fire before trying to punch and thus not be burned.

 

Actually, it was Sadaharu that was getting pegged by the moon, and lighting her fists on fire didn't prevent the burning (but did start the forest fire).

 

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Kagura: Tell me

Kagura pulls out her giant umbrella.

7:55PM

Kagura: What is this?

What year is this?

WHAT YEAR IS THIS?!

Kagura rocks in the fetal position on the floor.

7:56PM

Kagura: YEAARUHHH

 

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For a quick update, we killed Octum and retrieved Selax, but doing that transported us into the Star Wars universe, where Kagura plays Jumanji and Selax goes to be a sith lord.

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It's that time of the week again: pathfinder stream up at http://www.twitch.tv/falseincarnate

 

This week: we bumble through the Star Wars universe with the Return of the Madman: SELAX ARENLOS!

 

EDIT (6:20 PM EST 10/7/15) : Stream offline until NoX gets his internet back. Will update when we return.

 

EDIT 2 (4:00 PM EST 10/8/15) : Stream coming up, didn't get to play last night since NoX got internet back so late.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

Selax Arenlos glances at a bottle of alchemist fire in his bag, then at the forest.

 

11:01PM

Nomzosha: OH MY GOD NO

 

11:01PM

Sly: the unicorn/nox is whispering to me

im not insane

UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

SELAX NO

 

12:18AM

Earthdivine: Well, if there's one problem, Dertiens never gunna be able to do anything with Virgins

Sly: why cant i do anything with vir

OH GODDAMN IT

THATS GROSS

JFC EARTH

[10/21/2015 11:21:36 PM] earthdivine: Well that's what you get for contracting with a Unicorn

 

Selax Arenlos uncorks a bottle of alchemist fire and grabs the unconcious roc's head.

 

Selax Arenlos forces open the roc's beak and empties the bottle into the poor beast's gullet.

 

Selax Arenlos: LOOK GUYS! I MADE A PHOENIX!

 

 

Selax Arenlos stares at Dertien disconcertingly, the flames of the dead animal casting an eerie glow off the goggles of his mask.

 

12:20AM

Aisha: Salex, please don't deathglare the king

 

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[2:21:49 PM] FalseIncarnate: they hunted down a unicorn, selax went birdwatching and was attacked by a roc. the roc was KO'd after the rest of the party caught up and selax killed it by pouring alchemist fire down it's throat in attempts to make a phoenix for dertien to sign a contract with.

[2:23:03 PM] FalseIncarnate: dertien was (justifiably) horrified at the cruel act and demanded that selax extinguish it, at which selax realized that they signed a contract with a unicorn already and got mad. he almost attacked dertien, but changed his mind and stormed off while dragging the body behind him.

[2:24:43 PM] FalseIncarnate: dertien goes after him to apologize, realizing how upset selax was and finds selax set up in a clearing doing all sorts of treatments to the dead roc. some character backstory and bonding later, selax finishes what he was doing and reanimates the corpse, proudly declaring that he made dertien his phoenix.

[2:26:19 PM] FalseIncarnate: they head back with the new zombified roc in tow (now named Squak) and wake kagura up with it. kagura proceeds to vomit loudly at the sight. they then get ported to kings mount by ollub where they meet the citizens and help direct some of the rebuilding efforts

[2:28:17 PM] FalseIncarnate: selax slinks off to the undercity to find it's still intact, but the caretaker is severely weakened by the strain of holding it together. at the caretaker's urging, he goes and convinces dertien to allow the people of the undercity to rejoin the city above (many were banished from the city in the past) so that the caretaker can seal up the underground, thus strengthening the ground and reducing the strain on his magic

[2:29:54 PM] FalseIncarnate: dertien and selax also spend a couple minutes discussing "project Phoenix", Selax's reanimation procedure. Selax hints at the possibility of weaponizing the process, which both horrifies and fascinates dertien. selax wanders off and eventually goes to sleep (probably) as dertien goes and talks to the goblin tinkerer. everyone then leveled as we ended for the night

 

thanks for the basic convenient snummary

dertien had to go through a kinghood thing, needed a magical creature to represent our kingdom and make a contract with

we did a unicorn

 

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Help earth keeps talking about hype-ass shit and its making me jelly

Oh wait

I DONT NEED WEAPONS

Can't wait till we fight a Gelatinous Cube

 

EDIT: Now that I have time to reflect it lets not, I don't want an aneurysm trying to save Kagura from herself.

 

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Selax reanimated the dead dragon. He now controls an alchemical zombie roc and an alchemical zombie ancient black dragon.

 

He then snapped his fingers and claimed the dragon's cave as his new home, and the Underpalace teleported in around the dragon hoard, safely containing it for later moving.

 

He invited the party to stay for dinner and spend the night recovering before they head back.

 

 

 

Oh, and they all took a ride in a flying stagecoach earlier. Would be a hilarious picture to see drawn up, given the ragtag collection of characters we call a party.

 

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