Riddle me this: What happens when an explorer does dumbshit? This (Accidental xeno round)

[ajc007007]

Hi. It's me. Insane Lief Cowart person, back at it again at crispy cream. Except the crispy cream is dried blood.

Now, back to answer that riddle.

Well, to explain what happened, I have to turn towards my favorite random dickhead #7, Ambrosine Pearsall, the explorer. He somehow managed to implant himself with a xeno larva (which no one knew about) and then transported his sorry ass allllll the way back to the NSS Cyberiad.

What do you know? His chest exploded, and I, a random larva #7, came out. Born into a world I had no business being in, only being there by shear circumstances, and born of stupidity and malice.

Now, in the middle of the cargo lobby, with 50% of a man's visceral organs larping as floor paint, I stood there for several seconds baffled, like a phallic street performer, equally confused and amused, waving to the 8 people that have witnessed my conception firsthand.

I eventually hid inside the maintenance tunnels, growing up into a prosperous queen in the abandoned bar, which conveniently had a Farwa and a Monkey to implant.

As a queen, I really got to flaunt my inner architect, because in order to be better than the drywall addicted proletarian that I have just violently birthed from, I have to be smarter and more sophisticated. This meant designating a main nest, hospital, body disposal room, and of course, a throne room (With no throne to speak of)

After minutes of being the world's most successful psychopathic mother, and then getting more children in the form of the lesser beings that now populate my throne, something crossed my mind.

Despite having a peanut gallery spectating a johnson-shaped creature spontaneously rip from a man's chest, me and my children weren't being hunted down.
The reasons were either:

1. They think I'm a medical experiment gone awry
2. They think I'm friendly
3. They are hunting, but haven't found me
4. They just don't want to

Well, I got my answer after 5 people were captured. Can you guess which one it was?

Spoiler

The answer was number 5!
They roleplayed oblivion guards and forgot about me

So now, in the span of 15 minutes, almost half of the station is now participating in the room temperature challenge while I sat comfortably, sprouting eggs, taking naps in my throne room, managing our victims, cleaning up bodies, and watching my xenos effortlessly kidnap the ERT, security, and every crewmember who ever crossed our path.

We captured the entire station in the span of an hour. Which got the Deathsquad on our asses.

Despite having all xenos prepare for the inevitable threat, we never stood a chance. We did kill one squad member and one, maybe two cyborgs, but we were no match for the intentionally overpowered manpower of these godless servants.

Edited May 20 by ajc007007

[Aligote]

Did they actually roleplay as Oblivian guards and say "must've been the wind" or did they just forget about you?

Edited May 20 by Aligote

[ajc007007]

They just forgot about me.

 

[MidwestRice]

too funny, I came through cargo bay to fix a door when I saw you sitting next to the vent and waved at me, I waved back and carried on. Later on that round whilst hiding in atmos (due to the ERT v aliens currently unfolding), I thought to myself, "wonder where these aliens came from?".

 

I now realize I am the station equivalent of an oblivion guard. It can only be uphill from here.

[dafrek]

Ah yes, explorers continue to have a positive impact on the round with no downsides!

[ajc007007]

2 hours ago, MidwestRice said:

too funny, I came through cargo bay to fix a door when I saw you sitting next to the vent and waved at me, I waved back and carried on. Later on that round whilst hiding in atmos (due to the ERT v aliens currently unfolding), I thought to myself, "wonder where these aliens came from?".

 

I now realize I am the station equivalent of an oblivion guard. It can only be uphill from here.

"I used to be an explorer just like you. Then I took a laser bolt to the brain."