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Metagrudging and issues OOC - Open Letter


Trekkie27

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Open letter; To anyone that want to read it in the paradise community - regarding Metagrudging and issues OOCly

Hello! Thank you for taking your time to read this. The community meeting on the 25th of September 2021 raised some pointers to me, regarding metagrudging and people struggling OOC due to some aspects of the community or gameplay.

This is a nice community, a place that people come to for different reasons. Some people are here for hardcore gaming, some people are here to meet new friends and people, some people are here because they can be whoever they want here, some people are here because IRL is a struggle, and this is their safeplace. There are numerous of reasons to why you chose to be a part of this community and play this game, and all of these reasons are okay - what is not okay though, is to be here to make someone else feel bad - but sadly, it does happen from time to time.

Metagrudging or causing someone else issues out of character, due to IC relations is never okay, but it does exist - this phenomenon exist all over the internet, and aswell here in our lovely paradise and community.

To any players that feel uncomfortable, having issues with another player IC or OOC, to the extent it makes you feel bad - know that there are people in the community, aswell as in the staffteam, that are willing to take time and listen to what you have to say. There are lots of good guys in this community, and it might be scary or difficult - but do reach out for a hand. Either to one of the Community Managers, or to someone that you interact with well IC. Even just talking about it and getting someone elses perspective on the situation might make you feel better. And if it has come to the extent that there is a reason to ping admins about someones behaviour, you should trust that admins will do something about it - look into it and see what the issue could be and how it could be solved. It is not wrong to feel bad, always remember that you are entitled to your own feelings - it is not your fault. 

I have personal experiences with have being taken seriously by people in the staffteam, when it comes to these kind of issues - 
I do hope and I do believe, that the people in the staffteam want what's best for the players, and if someone is actively feeling miserable due to a player, they'd like to know so it can be looked into and solved.

It is not your fault for being a victim of metagrudgeing - there are bad people here too, aswell as everywhere. There are people that take advtantages of other people for own benefits, there are people who get a kick out of being rude to other people, there are real life greytiders, even on paradise.. But I personally believe that the good outweight the bad around here - for every bad person, there are a bunch of good ones too!

I want to state that there's a difference between not getting along with someone and being metagrudged and harrassed. We're all different people, everyone cannot like everyone. Most of us knows this, we meet someone we don't get along with, and then we move on with our lives. But when it comes to activley being seeked out by someone who wanna play rudely, bother you, harrassing you IC or OOCly, that's when it becomes a problem. And do dare, do dare to talk to someone if this has happened or actively is happening to you. You're not suppose to feel bad or have a bad, uncomfortable experience due to one certain person or player.  

We're all here for a good time, we're here to get a good experience - if that's playing it hardcore, just roleplaying, getting away from reality for a while or a mix of everything. You gotta have a good time, to create a good time for others.

There are so many good people on this server. People have met friends that they will keep forever on this server, people have met new inspiring people that make them feel good - make them feel better, people have met the love of their lives here. There has been creations of unbreakable bonds between people, just due to this communitys existance. There are so many good people here, and I can't stress that enough. 

.. and with that again, know that there are a bunch of people that have open hearts, that are willing to listen, that are willing to talk. 

It's never ever okay to harass someone else OOCly for IC relations. 
OOC and IC are two different things. Sometimes we all need to remember that in the end, this is a game we're playing. A game with the benefit that you can meet alot of new, inspiring people here.

Do dare to reach out, do dare to ask how someone else is doing, it could change alot. 

Stay awesome, paradisers <3

-Autumn, paradiser since 2014
 

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Well said! And I'll repeat what toodles and I said at the community meeting, our PM's are always open if you want/need to talk/if you're having any issues. Reaching out can be hard, I know, but you really should.

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5 hours ago, Trekkie27 said:

Open letter; To anyone that want to read it in the paradise community - regarding Metagrudging and issues OOCly

Thank you for posting this.

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